Sale Yards, Walls, Money, Support

It's been an interesting weekend so far! Yesterday we had the yard sale (or "Sale Yard", as my friend's son calls it) at the Event Center in Taylorsville and the neighborhood had a yard sale for the orphanage as well.

The one at the Event Center was a ton of work - we had a U-haul and trailers and had to get everything from Eagle Mountain and Heber and Lehi up to the Convention Center. I think the crowd was significantly less than the 4K they projected. After the first date was cancelled for rain, they scheduled it for Memorial Day weekend and I think that really hurt the crowds. There were always a few people going through, but it wasn't "packed" like it was supposed to be. We ended up with mostly "small ticket items" - clothes and books and VHS tapes.


People were so fascinating to watch. And it was amazing to watch what people were interested in which items and when they would haggle over a $.25.


The funniest thing that happened to me was probably the couple that bought one of the "Hope for Little Angels of Haiti" T-shirts. The husband wanted one, so I got his size and put it in a bag and handed it to him. His wife gave me the money and then she said to me, "Now, can I wear this to work?"

I looked at her like, "How on earth would I know that?" and she still wanted an answer from me, so I said, "Sure! Why not!"

She said, "Yes! Oh, good!"

Her husband said, "Why are you asking that lady if you can wear this to work?"

And she said (wait for it), "Well, I wanted to know because we're not allowed to wear T-shirts to my work. But it's OK. She said it would be fine."

Her husband said, 'Honey.... this IS a T-shirt." and they walked away as he was trying to explain the finer points of what makes a T-shirt to his lovely, oblivious bride.

Awesome.

My neighborhood also had a yard sale for the orphanage. And I KNOW it was a ton of work, even if they didn't haul things to other counties. I am sad that we weren't able to be there because we'd already committed to be at the E-Center sale, but Jessica pulled things off with flying colors. I haven't spoken to her yet, but I can see from the comments from my neighbors on Facebook that it was "huge", "amazing" and that Jessica raised $1200 for the orphanage! (That, by the way, is the exact same amount we raised at the E-Center sale. Pretty impressive! My neighborhood is awesome!!)

I'm so touched by the outpouring of support! Jessica does so much for everyone else. I've mentioned before that her husband is away "playing soldier" (as my dad would say) and she's got her own busy family and home to run in his absence and she still finds time to take care of her neighbors and friends. She's a wonderful, caring, dynamic woman and we're very lucky to have her for a neighbor! Thank you, Jessica!

Speaking of soldiers, the Vietnam Traveling Memorial was in Ogden yesterday. It's a smaller-scale replica of the memorial in Washington, D.C. My father is a Vietnam Veteran and my mom's brother was killed in Vietnam. That memorial has a special place for me and my family.

When I was 19 I was able to travel to Maryland to meet up with my dad, who was out there on business, and we spent a week together seeing the area of the country where I was born (military brat born on Ft. George G. Meade in Maryland). We were able to go to The Wall on one of our days in D.C. and I was able to touch Uncle Niel's name and make a rubbing on it for myself. I know I'll never really understand what it was like for Niel, for my dad, for any of the thousands and thousands of veterans who gave or risked their lives in this and other conflicts, but I'm so grateful that they are willing to serve.

The way I see it, the United States of America is the "cool big brother" that all the other nations wish they could be. We have so much. We've been given so much. I believe that we have a global and eternal responsibility to our brothers and sisters. We're supposed to watch out for everyone smaller than us. I believe that God will hold us accountable for the things we could have prevented and didn't, for the burdens we could have lifted but ignored, for the wrongs we could have tried to right and allowed to occur. That doesn't mean that I agree with everything that has happened in these wars. Of course I don't. It would be fabulous if people could be reasoned with over a table and the evil dictators of the world would recognize the wrongs of their ways and play nicely with each other.

Unfortunately, that's not how people work. "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still." Card Carrying Members of the Evil Dictators' Club will always be Card Carrying Members of the Evil Dictators' Club. Sometimes people are evil and sometimes it does take force to try to purge evil or prevent that evil from spreading.

But enough of my soap box...

The point is, my brother and his wife took their kids to Ogden with my parents yesterday. My mom was able to show them Niel's name. My dad was able to point out the names of men he knew in Vietnam. They showed them Niel's medals. They explained why he was there and why he was killed. They told them that Niel was a medic and that he was on the front lines and had gone to try to recover another wounded soldier when he, himself, was shot and killed. They showed them Bobby Shelton's name - the soldier Niel was trying to save. They made the names real. They gave them flesh and soul.

A reporter from the Ogden paper was there and snapped this picture of my niece, Romy, touching Uncle Niel's name with the roses they'd brought to leave for him.

I look at this picture and I see her face trying to puzzle out all the things she's been told and trying to reconcile the tears on her grandma's face with the small, stiff letters spelling out "Niel B. Riggs". She may not "get it". But it touched her and she's trying to make it a part of who she'll be. I see the reflection of my mother, behind Ro, supporting her, guiding her, holding the box of Niel's medals. And I think, "THAT is what it's all about. Those who travel this life are to do their best to make things better for those that follow. Whether they teach, or nurture, or build, or defend, or sacrifice. That is what we've been asked to do."

That is what God expects from us as nations and families and individuals - that we watch out for each other. Even when we've passed, there is still an influence of our works as we are reflected in the lives of our children and our grandnieces and our neighbors and the orphans in Haiti that we may never meet, but whose lives we have made better. Our presence, our legacy... is in that support. It's in what Niel means to me. It's in what the Wall represents. It's in my mother teaching my family. It's in the image of my father in his uniform. It's in Jessica having a yard sale for babies that she won't see for many, many months but whose mouths she is feeding now.

This? This is good. This is right. Thank God for America and for the freedom to be and do and support to the best of our abilities.

Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend.

Touching

There have been a lot of tears today, but not for the reasons you might think.

My brother, Brian and his wife called us last night to tell us that they're expecting in December! Very exciting news - they're such a cute couple together and I think they've been good for each other. I know they've both wanted this a long time and I'm thrilled for them. They'll be awesome parents.

My baby sister is getting closer to her due date. Baby Rocco is due while we're in Haiti and I'm sad that we might not be right there for the birth, but we'll be swooping in to shower him in hugs and kisses as soon as we're back home. Interestingly, Rocco is the first biological nephew on either side of the family for us. Maybe Brian and Paige will have a little boy as well.

The big tears came this evening as I was getting some Etsy orders ready to ship. A very sweet woman from Brent's work crocheted two beautiful baby afghans for us to sell on the store. I was packaging the sweet pink one today to ship it off to the buyer in WV, when I noticed that she'd sent me a note on the order. Tears came to my eyes as I read these words:

This blanket is a gift for a baby, due in September, who is not likely to live long after birth due to a terminal congenital condition. Although her parents have baby clothes and blankets that belonged to their two older children, they want this baby to have clothes and a blanket of her very own. I offered to buy any Etsy baby blanket they wanted for $30 or less, and the mother chose this one.

Thank you for making and selling this blanket, which will help the family during this difficult time. They're still trying to decide on names. In the meantime the baby is known as "Angel".

It's amazing how we touch each other. We never know when we're going to be just what someone - even a total stranger across the country - might need to hear.

Tomorrow we're having the big yard sale at the sports arena in SLC and then my sweet neighbor has put together one in my very own neighborhood - all to support these babies in Haiti.

21 days until we're there again. 21 days until I kiss their sweet cheeks.

But I can be grateful they're alive, well and healthy today. Thank you to sweet Angel for reminding me that I have been richly blessed.

The Poor Man's Jedi Mind Trick

On the way back to lunch from work the other day, one of my coworkers whipped out his camera phone and snapped this gem on a car we were passing.

I'll explain a bit - The left turn signal was flashing. Blue painter's tape makes an "X" over the turn signal, and then next to that are the letters "I-G-N-O-R-E", also crafted from blue painter's tape.

Apparently the turn signal is broken and he doesn't want everyone to think he's changing lanes on them but he also doesn't want to take the time to fix it. Little Jedi Mind trick action with the painter's tape. "You do not see this flashing turn signal."

I wonder if it works on policemen as well...

25 days 'til we leave again.

I've been wondering a lot what the kids will be like. What will Jessica be able to say this trip? What have we missed in the last 5 months? Will Nathan be talking? Will he still want a hug every minute? Will they remember us?

This will also be our 2nd full trip with the same kids. Knock on wood and anything else you can find! Nathan came back to us the next to last day of the October trip last year. This will be our 5th trip and the 2nd time we'll have the same kids for two full trips in a row.

I dread the week before we go. It's like "until we're on the ground in Haiti and they're in my arms, anything could happen" (because everything has happened)

There are a bunch of people going on this trip. I actually kind of dread the large group. If you've ever seen how many people and their luggage they will force into one vehicle in Haiti, you'll understand. But the good news of so many people going is that we were able to order a 2nd pallet of FMSC rice. We have so many volunteers going that we needed more than a pallet to distribute out to everyone. Brent estimates that, if everyone packs what they're given, we'll get 1600 lbs of FMSC rice/soy mixture down there with this trip.

For those of you that aren't familiar with it - 1 serving of FMSC rice has all the vitamins, protein, minerals that a starving child needs for a full day's allotment of nutrients. It means that even if they only get to eat once per day, they'll be getting proper nutrition. It means that lives will be saved. It means that anything additional they're able to feed them will be "bonus" and not "basic survival". We've been very blessed that the wonderful angels over at Feed My Starving Children have been willing to provide us this product and that all the families and volunteers traveling have been so willing to pack it all.

I can't really explain what it's like to pack for Haiti - we take clothes for the kids. More than they'll need. Diapers. Snacks. Toys. We try to get everything we need for a week with two active, 2 year olds into one suitcase. It's our one shot to spoil them.

Then in another suitcase, we pack our clothes and start throwing in the FMSC rice. We tend to take a baggie of Tide down and wash clothes a couple of times because if we can wash some of our clothing to rewear it, then that means that much more space for rice for the babies. "Do I really need to do my hair while we're there? Oh... I can borrow Tia's blow dryer - one less thing to pack. Let's put rice where that would have fit. "

I'm also excited because we had some fabulous fundraisers this spring to help us get power to the Orphanage. We are doing a trial run this trip and we'll be hauling down a solar power unit. If we can get it to Haiti in one piece, and get it hooked up like we hope, then we can get some fans set up that they can move around to keep the kids cooler during the awful, hot and humid months. The kids get sick in the hot months and it's just miserable. Hopefully we'll be able to help a bit with that.

THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME!!!

I'm the orange and white wing. Brent's in the red and green (or "Creamsicle and Watermelon" as our friends called it while they were filming for us).

Yes, we both went and it was completely AWESOME!!!

The best part was doing the wing-overs - watch the video....

Thanks, Jessica!

Our sweet neighbor is putting together a yard sale for our orphanage. And we're not even going to be there because it's the same weekend as the big one at the E-center that we were already signed up to do.

Jessica's never met my babies. She has her own kids to take care of and her own household AND her sweet hubby is off being a soldier. And she still found a way to pull together things to help our kids.

I stand all amazed at people like Jessica.

Thank you for caring about our kids. Thank you for letting Haiti touch you enough that you DO something about it. Thank you for being you.

I Totally Did Not See That Coming!

People do some interesting, random, cool, bizarre, fascinating things. I love watching people and the way they interact. I don't mind layovers because I'm thoroughly entertained people watching in airports. People are awesome.

I saw a good one the other day. I was driving down a major road in downtown SLC. There was a marked mid-block crosswalk coming up and I could see there were people waiting on the median (not "medium", despite what people in UT say) for traffic to stop.

My car arrived first, so I stopped. The other two lanes in my direction followed suit. When traffic stopped I could see that there was an older gentleman (who could have possibly been homeless) waiting on the side of the road to cross the other way.

So I'm stopped - kids are crossing, Possible Homeless Guy is crossing. When Possible Homeless Guy hits the median he suddenly does this weird twisty thing, flips the double-bird right at me in my car and SCREAMS the Queen Mother of All Swear Words. Then he turns and resumes crossing like there was nothing at all unusual about that little maneuver.

What did I do, you ask? I did three things, really. . I burst out laughing. I immediately upgraded Possible Homeless Guy to Definite Homeless Guy. And I wondered why I'm always by myself when "people" happens.

Maybe I should get one of those police cameras installed on my car...

And did I mention it's 30 days until our trip!!!

Blech

I dislike Mother's Day.
OK. I'll be honest... I despise it with the fires of a thousand suns.... I loathe every little Greeting Card Industry/"Every Kiss begins with K" fiber of its being. I hate Valentine's Day for the same reason. It's just another reason for Walmart to change out their impulse displays. And I find it maddening.

And then there's the requisite Mother's Day Church Program. Normally I do OK in Church on weeks when the talks are all about families and motherhood and how wonderful it is. My little friend, Cymbalta, even makes it so that I don't sob embarrassingly loud at the unfairness of such things. I can watch other women getting pregnant and having babies and blessing those babies and know that it will never, ever be me. And I'm usually OK with that. Usually...

The speakers yesterday where some kind men in our ward. On of them was our dear neighbor who told about how very much he's in love with his wife. I am so proud of Rob for being willing to share his feelings. I was very touched by his words. Your wife is amazing and the two of you pull together a lot to get the family environment you have.

And then they had the Primary children sing and the female teachers sang the counterpoint to their song. :

Mother, tell me a story that I love to hear. Tell me of heaven and how I came here.
Tell how you love me and gently speak and then I'll go to sleep.

Child, I am here, can you feel that heaven is near? Sleep, sleep a love watch I'll keep to protect you through the night.

And it hit me, as we were up there singing in front of all my neighbors... it so completely sucks that I can't say those words to my babies. That I'm not there to protect them. That they're probably sleeping on the tile floor because it's cooler than their bunks. That I'm NOT there for them.

And you know, even when they do come home, I'll still hate Mother's Day and I"ll still ache for the unfairness of it all. How often does life actually turn out the way we plan?

Deep, cleansing breath... The Lord Never Cheats Anyone. The Lord Never Cheats Anyone. The Lord Never Cheats Anyone.

No, Really... I'm Ironman!

I used to have super short hair.

One day I wore a scarf to work in my hair. When I went to lunch in the completely packed cafeteria that day, a woman that I didn't know came running up to me, calling my name very excitedly.

I started looking around to see if I was on fire or something... I honestly didn't know this woman and was concerned that she was so... excited... to see me.

"Lori!" she exclaimed. "Your hair!! It looks so FEMININE!! Not like it normally looks AT ALL."

Um....

So the next time I went to my stylist I relayed this little story to her and jokingly said that maybe we needed to mix things up a bit with my hair.

She looked at me and said (quite seriously), "Honey, it's not your hair. You need a boob job."

:)

She's a good friend and I still think it's one of the funniest things anyone has ever said to me. I still laugh when I think about it.

I'm built mostly like a yardstick. The only curves in my figure are the ones from my scoliosis. On top of that, I'm not a "girly girl". I don't do much makeup and I can't spend more than $30 on anything without getting heart failure.

So, tonight while I was doing yardwork I was watching my little neighbor Kohl run around in his Ironman Halloween costume. He was having so much fun. It's a cute little costume - it even has a mask and sculpted "muscles".

That's about when it hit me that my Victoria's Secret Miracle Bras are the "grown woman" equivalent of Kohl's Halloween costume - just more expensive.

Sigh...

Promised Thoughts...

I mentioned that I'm teaching the Sunbeams (3 yr olds) in church on Sundays. It's a lot of work, but so fun. They have the most sincere thoughts about things. It's been fun to listen to them and learn from them.

I didn't mention that one of my Sunbeams has a lot of struggles. They think he has some form of autism, but are still doing testing. He's definitely in his own little world. He doesn't really verbally communicate and he doesn't respond if you speak to him. He seems to be oblivious about what's going on around him. Sometimes he wants to run around and, given that our class sits on the floor, it's a bit like watching Godzilla trample Tokyo. The other kids don't like being stepped on, obviously, and it's always a challenge to get him redirected as he often doesn't like to be touched.

Sometimes my autistic Sunbeam will actually let me pick him up. Sometimes it seems like he's aware that I'm someone who cares about him. Most of the time when you pick him up, he goes ballistic. He's freakishly strong. He starts kicking and he panics. You have to try to minimize the impact - no one likes to be kicked, but little Sunbeams cry when they get kicked. I've been kicked in the head a few times. I'm honestly not sure that he's always aware that you're not going to hurt him. It's been an interesting few weeks, but we're figuring each other out.

While all this has been going on in Sunbeams and my work has been wrapping up this large project, we've also had to acknowledge that we really have no idea when our babies will be home. I wrote that post about realizing we would never need the nursery in our home. The next day we got an updated time line for Haitian adoption from our agency.

See, every time a new director of one of their offices comes into play, they have to assert their power and add a few steps to things. They never "grandfather" in the existing files - they send every file back to get whatever is now missing. And the US side, in the interest of supporting Haiti's right to govern how they see fit, also send back pending files to get the new steps Haiti inserts. That's a high level explanation, but you get the general idea.

This isn't anything official, but the agency let us know that based on what they're seeing it looks like the average adoption is taking up to 28 months. They gave an outline of the current time averages it takes to process paperwork in each of the respective Haitian government offices, etc.

We know that our papers are still in the first office. We've known this for some months. Yes, we've been at this forever and yes, we got our referral Oct 1, 2007. You have to remember we lost our kids a couple of times and had to start over again. But basically, eighteen months into this the way things line up, we are on month 5 in a process that could possibly take 28 months. After all this time, we're still not any closer to getting them home. If I go off their ages now and add 23 more months as my possible time line, then my little Nathan, who was just 2 months old when we got his referral, would be nearly 4 before we got him home.

So I spent some time trying to process that and trying to deal with it (you could call it "having a pity party" if you'd like). You go through all the frustration at processes beyond your control and grief that your children are being raised by rotating orphanage caregivers - their formative years are forming in such conditions - and OURS is a GOOD orphanage. It's just still not where I would have them be.

A couple of days later, I was talking with a friend who is also grieving over some heartbreaking things in her own life. We were exchanging emails and discussing the situation. We started talking about what it means to have faith and to 'become as a little child', specifically

"becometh as a child,submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."

and wondered together about what it means to submit to God's will on something so painful to you personally.

As we were talking (this isn't going to come out correctly), I could clearly see that sometimes, in many ways, I'm the autistic Sunbeam. I had this little image in my mind of the Lord trying to communicate to me and I'm so caught up in my little world that I miss it- completely oblivious to what He's trying to get me to learn. Sometimes I'm sure He's trying to comfort me and I'll bet that I've kicked him in the face a few times (if you know what I mean). I'm sure there have been moments where I'm a whirling dervish of "This adoption is never going to end" emotions, and God must be looking at me, rather like I was looking at my Sunbeam, with one eyebrow raised and wondering if I'll ever stop spinning long enough for Him to reach in and give some comfort.

We have such a limited view of things. I don't see what's going on in Haiti, but He's trying to help them answer their prayers as well. There are so many lives intertwined in this process. My perspective on this whole thing, when compared with God's eternal perspective.... I might as well be an autistic Sunbeam.

I know this is painful and I know it's an awful ordeal, but at the end of the day, the Lord Never Cheats Anyone. Those who seek, find. To those who knock, it will be opened. I have to trust that this is going to work out. Even if the process is being run by a bunch of us autistic Sunbeams, the Lord is still in charge.

Sorry 'Bout That...

I didn't mean to cause any panic... the title of that last post is some song lyrics that seemed to fit how things are going for us lately. Things may be tough (dashboard's melted) but good will come out of it if you look for it (we've still got the radio). [I probably should have thanked Modest Mouse for the lyric, but that may have caused even more confusion because I'd bet most of you haven't heard of them.]

I promised I'd share some of my thoughts... I've been doing a lot of thinking the last few weeks. With the big (ginormous, really) project I've had at work, that's about all I've been able to do besides that project!

But first, some pictures because I made you wait so long for an entry!

These two are from October 2008's trip. Aren't they exquisitely beautiful children?

Nathan's giggling while Daddy blows on his belly.....


Apparently we're not allowed to marry them to each other, but they still look cute sleeping by each other and pushing their hands into the other's face. (I don't think that nurse had any idea I'd still be getting laughs out of her comment months later)
Brent's doing his paragliding anniversary present this weekend. I was so busy the last month that I didn't tell you when our friend, Tia, brought him over a package of Depends - "just in case he needs them for the paragliding flight". It was awesomely funny.

We also had some great help from Brent's company - they allowed us to have another shipment of FMSC rice delivered to their facility. Since part of what they do for a business is shipments they have the big docks that allow tractor trailers to unload really easily which helped to save us a bundle in the shipping cost to get it here.

And we had a family member of one of the adopting families offer to pay for the freight - so a blessing all the way around!

We also have received some nice financial contributions to the orphanage. It's so wonderful to see people willing to stretch themselves to help "the least of these, their brethren". I hope these children can feel how much they're loved by so many people in America.

Oh, and, if you wouldn't mind.... the husband of the sweet woman who has made so many of the donations for the orphanage's Etsy store was just laid off. She's made literally hundreds of cards and donated them to the orphanage as well as other items. If you could add them to your prayers. They've been doing so much for these kids and helping us to answer our prayers of being able to raise funds to keep them fed and healthy. It would be nice to share some prayers with them that they'll be able to find employment quickly.

Only 40 days til the trip!! Can't wait to kiss those little cheeks!!

"...Dashboard's Melted But We've Still Got the Radio..."

It's not OK, but we're OK...

I've been super-duper busy at work the last bit and haven't been able to post this last week.

Have had some interesting thoughts, though, so hopefully I'll get a minute later tonight.

L

Synapses Might Be Running on Empty

It's been one of those weeks where it feels like Haiti grabbed you by the nostrils, swung you around a few times and then tried to rip your heart out through your ear canal.

My heart hurts.

Some times I'm reminded of everything we've lost so far in Nathan and Jessica's lives and of all the days we continue to lose and it's just overwhelming. It seems like I'm drowning (and I'm 6' tall, so that's a lot of "stuff")

So... I thought I'd post a bit about some of the "other things" I've thought about recently.

It'll distract both of us and maybe I'll feel better by the end.

********
I think "Ryan Dirteater" is the All-time Most Absolutely Fabulous, Ultimately Awesome, BEST NAME EVER for a professional bull rider.

This is Ryan Dirteater, and he really does ride bulls. He's apparently pretty good. I wish I could fully capture the moment for you when I glanced at the TV in a public building and for whatever reason professional bullriding was on and this fine gentleman had just been thrown from the bull. I glanced up right at the "oof" moment when his face hit the ground and the TV Caption said, "Ryan Dirteater". How completely awesome is that?

I think I would love to sit down with Mr. Dirteater (who is Cherokee) and hear about what he knows about his ancestors and the origin of their family name. I think it'd be an amazing story.
******

I think if that if you choose to keep a mental list of all the ways life has wronged you and all the ways you've been a victim... all you'll end up with is a really big list.

I think that's why they say "in the end, you get what you desire."
*******

I think that the gestation period for an elephant is like 22 months. I think I could have nearly gestated a full-on baby elephant by now. If only my "gestator" wasn't broken. Oh, and if I was actually an elephant.
********

I wonder how I'd feel if my duties at work were solely focused on processing paperwork so that Miss Paris Hilton's life could be easier. I think I'd feel disgusted, annoyed, unmotivated and fed-up.

I wonder sometimes if the distasteful "I'll do it if you're paying me but I'm not gonna rush it for that ungrateful brat" feeling is how the people in Haiti feel about processing paperwork for international adoptions.
*********

I wonder if science will ever get to the point that Hasbro or Tyco will have a "Clone Your Own Animal" set that every kid will want in their stocking and the kids will be like "But Mom! Vanessa has TWO baby sheep that she made herself and all I've got is this lousy hand-me-down lizard from my older brother! You don't love me! I hate you!"

I think if science does get to that point, the toy makers should skip the "Clone Your Own Pachyderm" line because the attention span of the target audience is significantly shorter than what's required.

I think there's a good reason for some inventions to never make it to market.
********

I think I miss my kids.

If That's All You've Got....

One of my Sunbeams came by yesterday with his mom to drop off something for the yard sale.

He asked me if I had any crackers. I told him I didn't. He said, "Well, what's in your pantry then?"

I looked at his mom, puzzled, but she knew exactly where this was going.

She said, "She has beans and noodles and rice probably."

He gave this deep, resigned sigh and said, "Well, I guess I'll take the noodles then."

Note to self: Keep treats in house for when friends come by. It'll be good practice for when the babies actually come home.

The Walls

Our house has a nursery.

At one point, we still thought we'd have babies in this house.

At one point, I was on a two month work trip to Singapore. Brent does projects to keep himself sane. You should see what he's done and redone to the main floor while we're waiting for our babies to come home. But I digress. While I was in Singapore Brent put hardwood floors in the nursery and painted the walls the color of the ocean and the ceiling to look like a sky with clouds. He knew I wanted to do Noah's Ark in the nursery and he put a Noah's Ark border on the wall and had it all ready by the time I got back home.

At one point we even had a crib in the nursery and we only used it when we would watch our friends' little boy. He's long since grown out of the crib.

At one point, we thought that maybe we'd get Nathan home in time to need the nursery.

There's a twin bed in the nursery now.

I bought bedding a few weeks ago - girly pink and white bedding that I hope will welcome Jessica some day. This weekend I changed the sheets on the bed in the nursery and wondered for the billionth time when we'd actually be tucking Jessica into that bed.

I laid back on the bed and stared at the clouds Daddy painted on the ceiling and wondered when Nathan will be in that room looking at those clouds and daydreaming about flying or baseballs soaring through the sky or just try to find shapes in the clouds Daddy painted for his baby.

And for the billionth time, my heart hurt that we'll never have a baby in this nursery.

Nathan was 5 months old the first time we met him. This June trip will be exactly a year from the first time we met our Miss Jessica. We'll get to visit our babies in another 55 days. And just a few weeks after we return home without them AGAIN, Nathan will turn two. Day by day they're slowly morphing from babies to toddlers to children. Day by day their formative years are being shaped by people I don't know in a place I never wanted them to be.

If you know me at all, you know that I always say it will "probably be another year before we get our kids home". I always say "another year". We've been at this 18 months and our papers haven't progressed in the last several months. We're still in IBESR. There's no way to know when we'll get out of IBESR. And that's just the first of several Haitian government steps we have to go through. We're still stuck on the first step. 18 months later and we're still on step one. And all I can tell people is "That's just Haiti - when you can't keep the people fed, when they don't have clean water, when 3/4 of the people don't have jobs, getting a few orphans out of the country is the least of the government's worries. At least they're being fed and not trying to survive on the streets."

I try really hard to "get it" and I try really hard to stay optimistic and positive and find funny things in life to keep me going. I try to remember that "it is what it is" and I can't change it and the only thing I have control over in this horrible situation is what I'm going to do with this wait we've been given. I want people to want to help Haiti and I want people to want to be involved and I try to keep things interesting and light here on the blog to keep people interested. No one wants to hang out with that bummer friend who drags everyone else down.

But every now and then I can't hold it in any more and I can't pretend that I'm OK with all of this. And I have my brat fit and then I move on and we go back to waiting. And we try to fill our waiting with fund raising and working to make things better in Haiti.

I wonder when I'll break down and paint the walls.

Jewelry Show Updates

At my last job I traveled a fair amount. I spent two months in Singapore. I've been to Ireland, the Netherlands and all over this great country. I started looking for a piece of jewelry on some of my longer trips. I looked for something unique and something that I loved. I'm not one to "invest" in something like that - I'm a pretty frugal shopper - but I like having something that reminds me of that country every time I wear it.

I hope everyone who ordered (or will be ordering) from our lia sophia fundraiser has that same experience. I hope they associate that piece of jewelry with these fabulous kids and our sweet little orphanage. I hope they recognize that they've done a good thing.

I wanted to say thank you to everyone who supported our lia sophia fundraisers so far. Emily gave me an update today and said we raised over $550 in one week for the orphanage!!

You can continue to support the orphanage (and get great jewelry) - she's creating a long-term account for us so that the commission from any sales done on her site where the shopper lists Hope for Little Angels of Haiti as the hostess will go straight to the orphanage.

Please feel free to copy the information below - put it on your own blog - send it out to your friends in email - rent a carrier pigeon - post it on Facebook - tattoo it on... well... maybe we won't go there. The point is, PLEASE tell everyone you know about it.

Great jewelry AND you help the kids. You can help us continue to raise
money towards our goal by:
1) Placing an order at www.liasophia.com/emilym and entering “Hope” as the hostess’s first name and selecting “Hope for Little Angels of Haiti” as the hostess. 30% of each sale will be donated.
2) Booking your own lia sophia show with me. (Emily's contact info is below)
3) Have a friend place an order or book a show.

Emily Mineer 435.251.9214 www.liasophia.com/emilym

Think of these beautiful kids and the families trying to get them home!

Smells Like Teen Spirit

My job at Church on Sunday has been changed around a bit. Now I'm teaching the 3-year old class (called "the Sunbeams"). They are a complete riot - mostly because they don't know they're funny. All ya'll will benefit here because I should have a LOT of "little kid story" material going forward.

Teaching Sunbeams is a bit like being an aerobics instructor but without the cardiac benefits. You have to change things up every few minutes to keep them engaged because a 45 minute class is TORTURE for a 3 year old otherwise. I can't say that I blame them. If you've only lived for three whole years then 45 minutes is a huge percentage of your entire life compared to the adults you know.

Here are just two of the awesome moments from yesterday:

One of the little girls in my class was trying to tell me something so I was trying hard to listen to what she was telling me. One of the little boys in the class starts in with "Guess what I can do. Guess what I can do. Guess what I can do." over and over again as I'm trying to listen. I finally turn and say, "What, sweet friend. What is it you can do?"

His response? He says, "I can pee standing up. Wanna see??"

"Wow... NO! No, I do not want to see, but... uh...good job for... um,...thinking of others... and...I'm going to guess that means you need to go potty, right?"

So I take him to the restroom, and I'm standing outside the stall, holding the door closed for him. Those restroom stall latches are pretty complicated to work when you're only 3. From outside the door I hear him yell, 'Ta-da!!" when he finishes.

Oh, to be 3 again and have everything be magical and wonderful and to appreciate what a big deal it is to be able to accomplish little things!!

_____
And the other story... my friend was sitting next to me, chatting. Her little girl (newly 4 yrs old) was down on the floor and was leaning against her mom's legs so her cheeks was on her mom's knee. My friend was wearing a skirt and cute leather boots. We were visiting and then I hear little E say, "Lori! Lori! Lori! Do you want to smell my mom's boots?"

"No," I said, "but thank you. I like the smell of leather as well. Do you want to smell them for me?" So she obliged and took a big, deep whiff. "They smell like my Aunt Cheryl," she announced. I guess Aunt Cheryl wears a lot of leather.

That made me wonder if there are smells that my relatives associate with me...

Anyone know what sarcastic angst smell like???

More Peek-A-Boo...

62 days til we're in Haiti again....

Whew!

We made it through the week... I was privileged to attend THREE lia sophia parties this week put on by my friend, Emily, with all the commission going to the orphanage. We had a good turn out and they booked some additional parties whose commissions will also go to the orphanage. We haven't closed the shows, yet so there is still time to order and have part of the sale go directly to the orphanage. You can order by using the steps listed here.

I mentioned that we have a big yard sale coming up - again with the proceeds going to the orphanage. Thanks to Candice for getting the O signed up for spaces at this sale!

Candice put together a nice list of things that sell well at these things. If you're in our area and would like to donate something to the yard sale, please email me at lolorosen at rapidwave dot net.

appliances – both large and small, working and non-working

baby equipment – new parents and grandparents are shopping!

books - paperback and hard cover, any genre

children's toys – kids discover them, parents buy them

china / pottery – put on display as a place setting if possible

clothing – displayed properly, used clothing = dollars

compact discs – music that you no longer listen to

costume jewelry – a BIG seller, so price accordingly

flatware – silver, stainless steel, etc

garden tools – make sure that they're clean

kitchen utensils & gadgets – these will sell like hotcakes!

linens / bedding – washed and pressed, these are hot items

patio furniture – these will probably sell in the first hour

phonograph records / tapes – yep, people will buy them

pictures / frames – people love old photographs

plants – more about this later!

shoes / boots – women's shoes are especially big sellers

software – in the box, with instructions, very big at sales

sports equipment – bats, balls, gloves, masks, etc

tools – the perfect way to keep a man occupied at the sale

video tapes – sell the movies that you're tired of

Yard Sale-A-Rama

One of the other adoptive mommies in our area has made arrangements for our orphanage to participate in the largest yard sale in the state. Coming up at the end of the month, one of the local radio stations hosts a yard sale in the parking lot of the local events center. They expect 4000 people to come through this yard sale. She was able to get us 3 spots. Each spot is allowed to bring a truck and a trailer to haul in the items that they would like to put on sale.

So, this is a plea to anyone in the reading area of my blog.... if you have something like furniture that is still in good condition but that you're no longer using, or any other good condition items, please contact me or Candice. We're looking for donations for the yard sale so that all the proceeds from the sale will go to the orphanage.

Please let us know what you have that you would sell off at a yard sale for our babies in Haiti.

Hope For Little Angels of Haiti... We're trying, we're working hard to help you get what you need to support these beautiful babies and keep them healthy.

We hope to hear from some of you that will help make things ready for the sale.

Updates

Brent's home and doing well. Like another adoptive mommy said - it's practically "McSurgery" these days. You drive through, have your appendix removed and get a side of fries and you're on your way.

He's having some pain but that's to be expected given that he just had foreign objects exploring his abdominal cavity yesterday. All in all he's doing really well. Thanks for your thoughts and kind words.

I mentioned the lia sophia fundraiser that my childhood friend is doing for the orphanage. If you're from out of town or if you won't be able to be there, let me share some info.

Look Great. Feel Great.

Helping has never been more fun!

You are invited to join us for a personalized lia sophia jewelry shopping experience. 30% of all sales will go to Hope for Little Angles of Haiti. Bring a friend and come help us reach our goal of raising enough money to purchase a generator for the orphanage.

You can place an order online at www.liasophia.com/emilym.

1. Click on "OUR JEWELRY"

2. Choose a catalog and shop.

3. Click on "HOW TO ORDER". Enter the hostess's name (use "Lori Rosenlof" so that she knows it's an orphanage order) and select "GO".

5. When you are finished shopping, click on "VIEW YOUR SELECTIONS".

6. Fill in the information requested to finalize your order.

Remember -April Customer Special

Buy 2 at regular price and get 4 more at 50% off! (half price items are always the highest priced!)

Emily will contact you to make sure your order is correct before she places it.

"-Ectomy" Is Latin For "I Hope You Weren't Using That Cause You Ain't Getting It Back"

Brent's had a rough week. He actually thought he had food poisoning earlier in the week but then it just didn't get better. And then there was the whole symptom of extreme pain in his abdomen. He finally went into the doc today and when the doc pressed on his belly Brent kinda came unglued. The doc sent him over to the hospital for a CT scan and at that point they just admitted him. He's back in surgery right now.

The way I look at it, his appendix is entirely to blame. Brent's a pretty patient guy. He's put up with me for 11+ years so that should show you that Brent has the patience of Job. So it's really saying something if he takes extreme measures. Brent doesn't just go from "oh, you're my appendix? Nice to meet you! I've heard about you but it's nice to put a face with the name" to "this relationship isn't working for me" to "you are dead to me. It will be as if you never existed" in such a short time frame for no reason.

He's a pretty reasonable guy. He would have tried counseling. He would have worked out some sort of schedule I'm sure. But no... suddenly EVERYTHING is about Appendix. Appendix has to be all "look at me! look at me!" and becomes such an attention-whore that Brent can't even think straight. It all boils down to Appendix being needy, self-centered and shallow. It's really like the Paris Hilton of internal organs.

Think about it... Brent's given Appendix food and shelter for all these years, taken Appendix on trips, and camping and all sorts of things, and do you think Appendix has ever once thanked Brent? No! Not once in 38 years! Not even a card! Then, out of the blue, Appendix stabs Brent in the back (or belly as the case may be). I mean, what's Appendix ever done for Brent REALLY. You give, and you give, and you give, and you get nothing back. Sometimes relationships are so one sided that they aren't worth the investment.

I don't blame Brent. I would have done the same thing if I were in his position (that position being "doubled over in pain").

Brent's gall bladder should consider this post a warning.

Better You Never Thought You'd Hear Those Words in America...

Someone at church today asked me how Brent was doing. I said that we were both doing well and then found myself saying, "The orphanage has been good for us."

I think I gave myself social whiplash with that one.... Bet you never thought you'd hear THOSE words in America.

It has been good for us to throw ourselves into fund raising and trying to find ways to "make a buck" but for the kids - not for us.

I spent most of the weekend getting stuff packaged and pictures taken, etc to update the Etsy store. Please send the info about the store out to anyone you know that may feel like helping out some orphans.

We're working hard to get another couple of pallets of food from Feed My Starving Children so we can load up all the luggage for everyone in our group. It's not JUST rice - they've added protein and vitamins and minerals and formulated it such that, even if they only eat this stuff once per day they'll get everything their little bodies need.

How crazy is it that we can deal with phrases like 'even if they only eat once per day". Haiti wouldn't know what to do with a "Super Value Meal" or a drive through or a vending machine or a Costco.... We're so blessed. So very, very, very, wastefully blessed.

We also have the lia sophia parties coming up in a couple of weeks with those proceeds going towards the generator.

We're hearing good things from the mom doing the "Pennies by the Inch" at her local elementary school.

Little by little - a paper at a time, a signature at a time, a form at a time, a penny at a time.... that's how things work in Haiti. That's how we're going to get our children home. That's how we're going to keep them fed and healthy until then.

Line upon line....

Another Post on a Saturday

Brent's brother and his wife had a yard sale today and they're donating all the proceeds to the orphanage. They clean out the stuff they no longer want and we're a few hundred closer to the generator and food supplies we need to take to the O on our June trip.

The adoptive parents can't do everything the O needs by ourselves but with everyone working together we can make a difference.

Update

My dad's surgery went well. The doctor says they removed the tumor "down to bedrock". He's home from the hospital and doing well. Thank you for your prayers.

We booked our flights for Haiti last night. Can not wait to see my babies again!

They May Not Remember What You Said, but They'll Never Forget How You Made Them Feel

Update to the Trudge Boy story - particularly my recollection of the night my big brother snuck out of the house. Here's what she says:

It was the local town police that were called, and he came home with his friends. The officer who stopped them gave him the option of riding in the cop car, or going straight home...
When the car pulled up in front of the house, every light was on, and the front drapes were wide open, and Mad Momma watched him get out of the car, which then disappeared into the night so quickly, one wondered if it had really been there!
To my defense, I didn't call the police until I had gone to the house where the 'party' was supposed to be, and got that boy's parents out of bed. Since they could offer no suggestions, I came home and called DAD, who was on military training at the time. THAT'S where the idea for calling the police originated...don't mess with DAD!
I'm not sure what my options would have been if we weren't living in a small farming community at the time, where I knew most of the police force. I give them credit for being understanding of my concerns.
And, I will be forever grateful to the neighbor who heard and saw the Great Escape and was willing to call and let me know!

So, now that I read that, I can remember that Mom did leave and go to the house. I think that might be why the whole event stuck with me - I think she had to wake me up to tell me that she would be back (since Dad was gone and Matt was gone. I would have been 12 or 13, I'd guess). I must have been so worried that the police would arrest my brother that I remember it with a squad car! :)

It's interesting how the emotion of the event carries over and cements it into your mind a certain way. That made me think about the saying you often hear about how people will "never forget how you made them feel". That's true of events, words, actions. Emotion can convince you of a lot of things. Emotion can make you think that David Cassidy is worth plastering all over your bedroom ceiling (like my aunt did). When you mix emotion with the other events amazing things happen. That concept is what makes you love your 3rd grade teacher even decades later. It's what made you think your great grandma's house smelled "magical" when the adults probably thought it smelled like "an old lady house". It makes you smile every time you hear a song by Stevie Wonder.

My Poppa is having surgery today - they think he has bladder cancer. You're in our thoughts and prayers, Poppa. We hope and pray all is well.

Like Food for the Starving....

We received update pictures today. We don't get those very often - I think this is the 4th time in the 18 months we've been at this.

It makes me feel a bit like a crime scene investigator. I pour over the pictures, looking at every single pixel, trying to soak in every detail I can from these precious pictures.


Nate looks like they woke him up from a nap for the event. His face is kind of like, "You're doing what?? I was sleeping, man." But look at those lips and the lashes and brows that are all over the place.... sigh... love this little man!

The update says that Nathan's mood is "generally good". That's because this child can throw a world-class hissy fit! Oh, baby!

Jessica's update says she is "good natured. Happy!". That's a big change from when they called her The Screamer. It says she loves the singing time that the preschool teacher does with the children. I can just picture her clapping and singing along. Sigh...

Just 80 more days until our next trip. Please let it pass quickly!!!

The Adventures of Trudge Boy, Episode VI: "Is That a Threat or a Promise?"

I was on my way home yesterday. I turned off the main road and onto a side road on the last leg of my trip home.

Ahead of me I could see there was a car on the side of the road with its hazard lights flashing. As I got closer, I realized it was a brand new vehicle. It made me curious about what would be causing it problems already. When I got closer still, I realized it was actually moving down the side of the road at about 2 MPH.

And that's when I saw him.

There was a boy walking along in front of the car with his fingers laced behind his head, his elbows pressed up around his ears and his eyes cast toward the ground.

He was trudging.

"Oh, sweet friend," I thought. "Apparently you have been blessed with one of those rare mothers that actually MEANS what she says. Let me guess... you didn't believe her when she said if you touched your sister 'one more time' you were going to be walking home. Am I right?"

Trudge Boy needs to learn to pick up on some context clues, I'd bet.

Prior to the car actually being pulled over, his mom probably used the "I don't care who started it - you're going to finish it!" line. Or maybe it was the ever popular, "I'm not going to tell you again." Or how about, "She's younger than you. You need to be the more mature one and let this drop."

Yeah, I've heard it all before. Trudge Boy probably wouldn't believe it, but I actually spent 18 years of my life as a full-time professional child. I've been in a semi-retired state for the last 17 years or so. I know what I'm talking about here. I have been "in the thick of thin things". I know what it's like to be "grounded to within an inch of your life" and I lived to tell the tale! (I really don't know what that phrase means in general but in my childhood home it indicated Mom meant business!)

Maybe Trudge Boy is the oldest in his family and didn't have someone going ahead of him - blazing the trail. I'm the 2nd oldest in my family and my older brother did some blazing for the rest of us. Like the time he snuck out of the house after Mom told him he couldn't go to a party and Mom called the Highway Patrol and he was brought back home in a squad car. Yeah.... that was one of those times when the rest of us kids were sitting back and taking notes. "Note to self: Don't mess with mom!"

(Which reminds me that I don't think I ever properly thanked my brother for "taking one for the team" now and again. Probably saved the rest of us from some things. He's a good brother.)

Trudge Boy, you weren't cursed with one of those weak mothers who talks and talks but never does anything. Your mom is a woman of action. She's a woman you can follow. She's a woman you'll appreciate more as you grow up. Who knows, you might even thank her one day.

So, for future reference, Trudge Boy... watch for the clues. The "Don't make me pull this car over" is a warning shot across your bow, as it were. That means Mom has designated the entire vehicle as a "no fly zone". You'd best pay attention from that moment forward. Watch for the white knuckled fingers on the steering wheel when there isn't traffic around. Watch for that vein in the side of her neck - that's always a big indicator.

And for heaven's sakes if you haven't learned it yet, write it down and commit it to memory: "Don't mess with Mom".

You can thank me later.

This Could Be Why International Politics Are So Difficult.....

Thanks to everyone who voted on my little poll there. The vast majority of people do not expect the blog author to respond to comments or the figure that the author will mention something in their next post if they do need a response. That makes me feel better because of my time constraints.

If you know me at all, you know I love to have a "little kid story" to share. This one comes from a coworker. He was teasing his boys about the terms of exasperation they use like, "Oh my gosh" and "oh my heck". So he started listing off all these things that they say or could say... when he got to "Gee Willikers" his oldest said, "what does that mean, Dad?"

D piped up and said, "Dad's speaking Spanish and since we're not Italian we can't understand him."

Yeah... that's what I was going to say, I think.

Fundraising Updates

I don't think I remembered to tell you about fellow adoptive mommy, Julie. Last week, Julie had a fundraising dinner for their adoptive process. They are adopting three beautiful brothers from Haiti. As part of her efforts, Julie ordered a dozen of our T-shirts and resold them at her dinner. So she made a donation to our O, and then used the product to raise money for her own adoption! Very thoughtful and clever!

She posted today about their "Mr. Pig" fundraiser - they've placed piggy banks in local businesses with information about their boys so that people can put in some change if they feel inspired to help.

Another adoptive mom from our O is doing a "pennies by the inch" effort to raise money for the orphanage. If you're not familiar with "pennies by the inch" here's a brief synopsis. A local children's hospital uses to raise funds. Primary Children's Medical Center does a lot of research into birth defects and provides a lot of charity care to ill children. I can remember the "Pennies by the Inch" drives in our elementary schools when I was a little girl. The idea was that you donate one penny for every inch of your height - as kind of a remembrance that you were born healthy and then those pennies are were used to research and provide medical care to other kids that weren't born healthy. Every kids can grasp that. It's easy to come up with some spare change, and it was fun as a kid to figure out my height and count out the pennies. I've always been tall, so that was one of the few moments that made it worth always needing to stand on the back center of the class picture! So this mom is taking the concept and adapting it to help the kids help other kids that don't have families to live with. I think it's fabulous!

The biggest fundraiser idea for our orphanage is one that I'm SO VERY EXCITED ABOUT!! If you're a regular reader, you remember when I was reunited with my childhood best friend, Emily a few months ago. Emily came to me with a way that she wants to help our kids to get a generator. Emily is an area advisor with lia sophia jewelry. People will host parties where guests can order this fun jewelry and Emily does a short presentation about the product. So here's where this gets amazing.

Emily has agreed to come up here (she now lives several hours away) and help us do some parties and Emily will donate her ENTIRE COMMISSION from all the sales to the orphanage. That works out to about 30% of the each sale! She'll also set up some web links for us so that people that are out of state can order product and the commission will still go to our orphanage. April is also a special discount month for lia sophia, so if you buy two items at full price you four more items at half price (the half price items are always the highest price items, as opposed to what you usually see where the half price items are the cheapest items.) So you can find a friend, and go in together and get some fabulous and unique pieces and you'll be helping the best little orphanage on the planet at the same time!! You could plan now for Christmas and get some great deals! Mother's Day is right around the corner!

It's so amazing to me that Emily offered to do this all on her own. It had seriously been years since we'd seen one another. It goes to show what a fabulous person she is. She's so excited to help our kids to have power.

We're going to be doing a few parties the week of April 9th. Watch for updates and web links as it gets closer!

Thank you to everyone who is working and praying to get these kids home and keep them fed and healthy in the meantime!

"Everyone Is the Same Amount of Important"

It was a horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad day. Clients making all sorts of requests and I felt like it was all waiting on me. I hate being the bottleneck to processes.

Then I started getting discouraged about how the progress on our paperwork seems to have flatlined and no one is saying anything. Sometimes I just want to scream and say, "Just tell me if this whole adoption thing needs Last Rites! Don't let me keep hoping if this is never going to happen!"

Today was one of those days where I feel like throwing a temper tantrum and putting the Lord on timeout until He gives me what I want. "There! Let Him take THAT!! See how much HE likes it! That'll teach Him!!"

That's what I'd call "less effective".

Then I had a chance to chat with a good friend tonight and found myself realizing how blessed we really are. I was reminded that "everyone is the same amount of important." :)

I have a car, air conditioning, a husband who can do anything, a country that lets me work to help provide for my family without fearing for my life, the freedom to worship how I feel I should, the ability to vote, and vending machines. Will miracles never cease?? I don't even want to imagine what would happen if there were somehow vending machines in Haiti. Rioting! That's what would happen.

We have family members who support us and our babies. They hold yard sales and donate proceeds to the O. They make crafts and donate them to the store for the O. They pray for us. They help us get them home.

I don't know why we have to go through this. I don't know why it seems that the very powers of hell are combined to see that these adoptions don't happen. I don't know why we seem to have an indefinite "gestation" period to get our babies here.

I think it's really easy to feel like God only loves us if we get what we want in this life. But if that were true, then what would that mean for the Gracies of the world? Is she somehow "less important" because her whole life was a trial? Was her life "worth it"? I think about her a lot. I don't think she had any idea how much she was teaching other people.

My thoughts keep coming back to the fact that I either believe that "the Lord never cheats anyone", or I don't. It can't be "the Lord doesn't cheat most people" or "usually the Lord doesn't cheat people" or "if the Lord likes you he won't cheat you." The Gospel is either true or it isn't. This whole "earth life" thing is either for our own good or it isn't. There aren't gray areas. So when I start to feel cheated or when I still feel cheated, what am I missing? What else is happening that I'm not seeing or refusing to see?

So, rather than "taking my toys and going home", I think I'll try to take a minute to remember how awesome it is to have electricty... that my friend's premature baby is healthy... that they can operate on Poppa's cancer... that I can see colors... that other adoptive parents see Champagne Cola in the store and think of us...that my friend can go to Haiti with us next time... that my husband puts up with me... that I have a job...that even though there are people who are mean and ugly and do rotten things there's still a point to all of this and that IN THE END, we'll get what we desire.

Jessica and Nathan are some pretty amazing little souls. I can't wait for you all to meet them.

In the meantime, thanks for praying that we'll keep holding on.

Yes, Officer. I Did Pack My Own Bags

I promise, he climbed in here by himself.


WHY can't we just bring them home?

Marching, Marching....

Thanks to Mare for these pictures of the kids marching around on the patio. This was the last morning and we were waiting for the trucks to arrive to take the kids back to the orphanage and take us back to the airport. It's a surreal experience - waiting for the dream to end and wondering when all of this will be over for real and you'll be able to take them home instead of just playing house at a hotel for a few days at a time.

At church today, someone asked if we'd had any update on our papers. Now this woman actually created her own family through adoption. She had not one, not two but SEVEN placements fall through in the process of getting the two children she adopted. Her children are grown now, but she's one of the few people who actually knows how hard this process can be and who knows what it feels like when you get your hopes up then dashed and you have to start over again and again.

I explained that our papers hadn't moved since November and that we probably had another year until we get to bring them home. It used to be that Haitian adoptions took 12-18 months. The kids that have been coming home the last few months were in the process for 2.5 years on average (based on my own checking - that's not anything published or "official"). She looked at me and said, "you know I think all of this is part of Satan's plan to overthrow the family. If things can drag out for an unknown length of time for "political" reasons than more people will be discouraged about adopting and they'll be less likely to do it. Think about how much frustration and discouragement that must bring to the adoption process".

I'd never really thought about it that way before. She's right though... few things have made me want to give up like this adoption process has. THOSE feelings certainly aren't consistent with the peaceful, strong, building feelings that I'm used to with things from God. I know families are ordained by God. This process, however - that's all the work of men. Someday, we'll get through the "politics" and onto the building of forever families.

Until then... we keep marching!

Bird is the Word

I was shocked by the outpouring of response from my last post. All 4 of my readers flooded my inbox with questions. Thank you to all four of you for your interest.

A few answers:
1. The duck was not injured in the aforementioned story.
2. "Ben" didn't "duck" because he was driving. Safety first, people! Safety first!
3. Savvy reader and fellow adoptive mommy, Melissa sent me this story and pointed out there may perhaps be strange things afoot at the Circle K....

Eagle Survives Crash Through Semi-truck Windshield

Perhaps there's a bird "underground" and they're slowly working to take things over - one vehicle at a time.
The best part of the story was the part where it said "The guys in the truck immediately bailed out because it was one ticked off bird. She was pretty feisty. Even the officer who responded didn't want to go in there so we had one of our wildlife biologists do it."

Yeah... that beak and those talons.... MUCH worse to get in your eyeball than "duck gunk".

My dear friend, Tia, (who is going on the next trip with us to Haiti) had a seagull smash her windshield one day while driving to work. I know... "what's a seagull doing in Utah". We all wonder that. It is a landlocked state and all, but we do have the largest saltwater lake in the western hemisphere and the seagulls did play a very big part in the history of the state of Utah. I guess they came for the lake and stayed for the crickets.

So, I suppose it is possible that when you group all these things together with the recent water landing on the Hudson that there could be a plot at work with our fair feathered friends.

Or that whole conspiracy theory thing could be for the birds....

One Too Many Hits In the Head with a Duck

First of all, thank you for all the kind comments. I love comments. It means people are actually reading this and that means that people are aware of the orphanage and what we are trying to do.

Also, for some reason, it cut off my last line of my last post. I fixed that.

I try to break it up a bit and include something to make you laugh every once in awhile. It's depressing to think about what you don't have every day and to wonder if your kids are being fed. MUST... DO.... FUNDRAISERS..... but back to something funny.

Today I remembered a weird experience from a few years back at work. I was trying to train a replacement person on several processes that were fairly complicated. I'd written out pages and pages of explanation with step by step instructions for everything. Management had identified the person they felt should take over these items and I began the process of training this person. Let's call him, Ben, shall we?

After several days of going through everything step by step and reviewing and reviewing and training and retraining.... it became apparent that Ben wasn't picking up much. OK, he wasn't getting anything. It was like every review was a brand new discussion that didn't relate to anything we'd discussed previously. While living that way may make every day seem like a new adventure, it's a lousy skill to have in someone you're supposed to be training. I was beginning to suspect that Ben was not the sharpest cheese in the fridge, if you know what I mean.

I went to the manager that had selected BennyBoy for the job. I said, 'You know, I've spent about 30 hours with Ben on these first items and he's just not getting it. He's asking the same questions day after day. He isn't retaining things and I don't think he understands the concepts of the business."

She looked at me, sighed, and said,

'You know, I just don't think he's been the same since he was hit in the head with that duck."

I waited for the punchline. There wasn't one. She wasn't kidding.

"I'm sorry... did you say 'hit in the head with a DUCK'??"

"Oh," she said, "you haven't heard this?"

"No... I'm QUITE certain I'd remember a story involving someone being struck in the cranium with a waterfowl. Please, go on."

Apparently, several months prior BennyBoy was driving on a backroad on his way to work one day. He had the window down and was enjoying the morning breeze. Suddenly, a full grown duck flew in the driver's side window and smacked into the side of his head.

I'll let that visual image soak in for a minute......

He had to pull over to get the duck out of the vehicle. And apparently he got some sort of "duck gunk" in his eye that caused an infection and apparently that led to other things (which may possibly include the inability to retain information after you've had it explained to you twenty times, based on what this boss was saying.)

So, you tell me... which is the best part of this story? a) the fact that he was hit in the head by a duck or b) the fact that several months after the fact, his boss was still using that to "explain his poor performance".

Personally, I just like to say, "Sounds like one too many hits in the head with a duck" every once in awhile. It amuses me. Even if I'm the only one around.

Butterflies and Hurricanes

People keep asking if they recognized us when we got there. That moment looked a little like this: Miss Jess was hysterically crying and Mr. Nathan was just warming up for some good tears. fortunately Papa came and Mr. Nathan was fine. Papa is Nathan's version of a security blanket. (I can't blame him. I like to be held by those same arms.)

I've been watching all the videos over and over again. By the time we go back again in June, Jessica will have a whole lot more words to say. We'll miss her transition from "Di-Di-Da" to something closer to her name. I hope she'll still be singing and marching and happy. I pray desperately that they stay healthy and well. Nathan will be talking. And all of that in Creole.

It's been about 18 months since we received Nathan's referral. Oct 1, 2007. People hear that we'll be going to visit them again in June and they say, "You really don't think they'll be home by June??"

"No...", I tell them. "We still have about a year." That's always my answer.

Some people bother to stop and listen and find out about Haiti and why it takes that long. Most people just move on with their day and probably don't think about it again until the next time they see us.

Haiti is always on my mind. My babies in Haiti, specifically. Are they happy? Did Nathan get over the gunky cough he had in his chest? Do they think of us? What DO they think of us? When will we all be home, in this little house, in this quiet little street, snuggled on the couch together.

How many more months? I wish I knew. It takes as long as it takes. It is what it is. In the meantime, we try to find ways to do fundraisers for the orphanage. And we dream about the next time we're together.

A friend was just discussing a major life event that she has longed for but it has not yet come about. She said something about, "If I just KNEW that it wouldn't happen, then I think things would change for me and I wouldn't be so discouraged with this constant waiting." So I've been thinking about that process as well. We have to have hope. We must. But hope without faith is pointless.

Someday.... someday.

I'll Take "Social Whiplash" for $200, Alex!

How to determine if your client is a redneck in three easy steps:

Step 1: Ask client for an update on the very pregnant woman in the office. (For example, "did Kristin have her baby?")

Step 2: Client says: "You know, I thought she was going to calf this weekend, but she didn't."

Step 3: Draw conclusions. (Note: Pencil and paper are not needed for this step.)

E.T. Never Had It So Good....

My sister is hilarious. My family in general cracks me up. This is the latest from my sister's blog.

By way of background, Z is pregnant. She also has a dog named "Bug". But Bug also answers to ALL of the following names:

Buglas McArthur
Louise
Chin Chin (that's her "panda name" - because every black and white dog needs a panda name)
Fatty Patty Steve


Yes, she really will come if you call her General Buglas McArthur. I think it's awesome.

So here's her post. Enjoy!

This post is about a Rat Terrier who is lovingly nicknamed Fatty Patty Steve. She ate a bag of Reeses Pieces yesterday. Not a normal size bag you buy in the checkout at the grocery store - she ate a good portion of the "I'm cheating on my wife, Jenny Craig, with a mistress named Reese's" gluttony size bag. Then barfed said contents of bag all over me and the bed. I know I have a warped sense of humor but I thought the whole situation was HILARIOUS! A quick shower and 2 loads of laundry cleaned up the mess but Louise was still sick. She was up most of the night puking (in the backyard) and laying in a heap on my lap. Moaning.

Between Barfy the Amazing Vomit Dog, a 25 week old fetus with tiny fists of fury, and heartburn that could choke a Marine... I didn't get much sleep.

If only I could teach my dog how to do this:

I think someone should make bumper stickers that say:

I'm cheating on my wife, Jenny Craig, with a mistress named Reese's.