It's been one of those weeks where it feels like Haiti grabbed you by the nostrils, swung you around a few times and then tried to rip your heart out through your ear canal.
My heart hurts.
Some times I'm reminded of everything we've lost so far in Nathan and Jessica's lives and of all the days we continue to lose and it's just overwhelming. It seems like I'm drowning (and I'm 6' tall, so that's a lot of "stuff")
So... I thought I'd post a bit about some of the "other things" I've thought about recently.
It'll distract both of us and maybe I'll feel better by the end.
I think "Ryan Dirteater" is the All-time Most Absolutely Fabulous, Ultimately Awesome, BEST NAME EVER for a professional bull rider.
This is Ryan Dirteater, and he really does ride bulls. He's apparently pretty good. I wish I could fully capture the moment for you when I glanced at the TV in a public building and for whatever reason professional bullriding was on and this fine gentleman had just been thrown from the bull. I glanced up right at the "oof" moment when his face hit the ground and the TV Caption said, "Ryan Dirteater". How completely awesome is that?
I think I would love to sit down with Mr. Dirteater (who is Cherokee) and hear about what he knows about his ancestors and the origin of their family name. I think it'd be an amazing story.
I think if that if you choose to keep a mental list of all the ways life has wronged you and all the ways you've been a victim... all you'll end up with is a really big list.
I think that's why they say "in the end, you get what you desire."
I think that the gestation period for an elephant is like 22 months. I think I could have nearly gestated a full-on baby elephant by now. If only my "gestator" wasn't broken. Oh, and if I was actually an elephant.
I wonder how I'd feel if my duties at work were solely focused on processing paperwork so that Miss Paris Hilton's life could be easier. I think I'd feel disgusted, annoyed, unmotivated and fed-up.
I wonder sometimes if the distasteful "I'll do it if you're paying me but I'm not gonna rush it for that ungrateful brat" feeling is how the people in Haiti feel about processing paperwork for international adoptions.
I wonder if science will ever get to the point that Hasbro or Tyco will have a "Clone Your Own Animal" set that every kid will want in their stocking and the kids will be like "But Mom! Vanessa has TWO baby sheep that she made herself and all I've got is this lousy hand-me-down lizard from my older brother! You don't love me! I hate you!"
I think if science does get to that point, the toy makers should skip the "Clone Your Own Pachyderm" line because the attention span of the target audience is significantly shorter than what's required.
I think there's a good reason for some inventions to never make it to market.
I think I miss my kids.