Gracie Cristella

We received the heartbreaking news that our friends' little girl, Gracie, passed away on Friday. This is the 2nd little girl our friends have lost in the last year. It seems like our families have gone through more than their fair share of heartache with this adoption process. It's a long, arduous ordeal no matter who you are, but to repeatedly have your children taken away like this is nearly unbearable.

Gracie, like her sister, Ellie, was a sweet, tender little girl. As you can see from the picture she had the greatest dimples. Her little life has had more struggle and heartache than most of us will ever see in a full lifetime. While I'm happy for her that she will no longer struggle and that she's endured all that God needed her to, my soul and my heart ache for my dear friends who are feeling the void she's left behind.

It seems that part of this Haitian adoption process is to develop a single-minded "obsession" with Haiti. It consumes you and you're constantly thinking about your children and the orphanage and the country and what you can do to ease or lift or better or change some part of the whole big mess. You're praying constantly for various government officials to WANT to do their job so that necessary paperwork can be processed and procedures can be followed. I understand the need for caution and care, but I also KNOW how much we need to get these children home. I know Scott and Michelle have gone through this in the past year. Michelle's been working on creating a newsletter that we can send out to help companies know about our orphanage and its needs so that we can get necessary funding. She's been working on things for the school teacher. She's been trying, with all that she is, to pray these girls home.

It's not wrong to want to parent these children. We need them as much as they need us. It doesn't make it any easier when your righteous desires feel like they've been trampled on and yet another child has died way before what I think they should have. But that's the point, I guess. This isn't my plan, and it isn't my thoughts that make this all work. "My thoughts are not His thoughts and my ways are not His ways..." I know, as I know the sun shines, that the Lord never cheats anyone. Not Ellie, not Gracie, not Lexi, not Malot, not Michelle, not Scott and not Brent or Lori. Somehow we have to bear each other up and try to lift each others burdens and some how bring light to this whole situation.

So we keep obsessing about Haiti. And we pray and we cry and we miss our children. And we ache. We plead. And we risk losing them and when we do lose them we remember that families are forever and the Lord never cheats anyone. Ever. Not aching mothers in the USA. Not even orphans in Haiti. Especially not orphans in Haiti.

Our thoughts and our prayers and our love are with Scott and Michelle at this time, as well as with Harry and Nadia and all our staff. We've all lost a family member. But we'll get through this together.

Thank you for letting us love you, Gracie. We love you.