Thursday, April 23, 2009
I've been super-duper busy at work the last bit and haven't been able to post this last week.
Have had some interesting thoughts, though, so hopefully I'll get a minute later tonight.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
My heart hurts.
Some times I'm reminded of everything we've lost so far in Nathan and Jessica's lives and of all the days we continue to lose and it's just overwhelming. It seems like I'm drowning (and I'm 6' tall, so that's a lot of "stuff")
So... I thought I'd post a bit about some of the "other things" I've thought about recently.
It'll distract both of us and maybe I'll feel better by the end.
I think "Ryan Dirteater" is the All-time Most Absolutely Fabulous, Ultimately Awesome, BEST NAME EVER for a professional bull rider.
This is Ryan Dirteater, and he really does ride bulls. He's apparently pretty good. I wish I could fully capture the moment for you when I glanced at the TV in a public building and for whatever reason professional bullriding was on and this fine gentleman had just been thrown from the bull. I glanced up right at the "oof" moment when his face hit the ground and the TV Caption said, "Ryan Dirteater". How completely awesome is that?
I think I would love to sit down with Mr. Dirteater (who is Cherokee) and hear about what he knows about his ancestors and the origin of their family name. I think it'd be an amazing story.
I think if that if you choose to keep a mental list of all the ways life has wronged you and all the ways you've been a victim... all you'll end up with is a really big list.
I think that's why they say "in the end, you get what you desire."
I think that the gestation period for an elephant is like 22 months. I think I could have nearly gestated a full-on baby elephant by now. If only my "gestator" wasn't broken. Oh, and if I was actually an elephant.
I wonder how I'd feel if my duties at work were solely focused on processing paperwork so that Miss Paris Hilton's life could be easier. I think I'd feel disgusted, annoyed, unmotivated and fed-up.
I wonder sometimes if the distasteful "I'll do it if you're paying me but I'm not gonna rush it for that ungrateful brat" feeling is how the people in Haiti feel about processing paperwork for international adoptions.
I wonder if science will ever get to the point that Hasbro or Tyco will have a "Clone Your Own Animal" set that every kid will want in their stocking and the kids will be like "But Mom! Vanessa has TWO baby sheep that she made herself and all I've got is this lousy hand-me-down lizard from my older brother! You don't love me! I hate you!"
I think if science does get to that point, the toy makers should skip the "Clone Your Own Pachyderm" line because the attention span of the target audience is significantly shorter than what's required.
I think there's a good reason for some inventions to never make it to market.
I think I miss my kids.
Monday, April 20, 2009
He asked me if I had any crackers. I told him I didn't. He said, "Well, what's in your pantry then?"
I looked at his mom, puzzled, but she knew exactly where this was going.
She said, "She has beans and noodles and rice probably."
He gave this deep, resigned sigh and said, "Well, I guess I'll take the noodles then."
Note to self: Keep treats in house for when friends come by. It'll be good practice for when the babies actually come home.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
At one point, we still thought we'd have babies in this house.
At one point, I was on a two month work trip to Singapore. Brent does projects to keep himself sane. You should see what he's done and redone to the main floor while we're waiting for our babies to come home. But I digress. While I was in Singapore Brent put hardwood floors in the nursery and painted the walls the color of the ocean and the ceiling to look like a sky with clouds. He knew I wanted to do Noah's Ark in the nursery and he put a Noah's Ark border on the wall and had it all ready by the time I got back home.
At one point we even had a crib in the nursery and we only used it when we would watch our friends' little boy. He's long since grown out of the crib.
At one point, we thought that maybe we'd get Nathan home in time to need the nursery.
There's a twin bed in the nursery now.
I bought bedding a few weeks ago - girly pink and white bedding that I hope will welcome Jessica some day. This weekend I changed the sheets on the bed in the nursery and wondered for the billionth time when we'd actually be tucking Jessica into that bed.
I laid back on the bed and stared at the clouds Daddy painted on the ceiling and wondered when Nathan will be in that room looking at those clouds and daydreaming about flying or baseballs soaring through the sky or just try to find shapes in the clouds Daddy painted for his baby.
And for the billionth time, my heart hurt that we'll never have a baby in this nursery.
Nathan was 5 months old the first time we met him. This June trip will be exactly a year from the first time we met our Miss Jessica. We'll get to visit our babies in another 55 days. And just a few weeks after we return home without them AGAIN, Nathan will turn two. Day by day they're slowly morphing from babies to toddlers to children. Day by day their formative years are being shaped by people I don't know in a place I never wanted them to be.
If you know me at all, you know that I always say it will "probably be another year before we get our kids home". I always say "another year". We've been at this 18 months and our papers haven't progressed in the last several months. We're still in IBESR. There's no way to know when we'll get out of IBESR. And that's just the first of several Haitian government steps we have to go through. We're still stuck on the first step. 18 months later and we're still on step one. And all I can tell people is "That's just Haiti - when you can't keep the people fed, when they don't have clean water, when 3/4 of the people don't have jobs, getting a few orphans out of the country is the least of the government's worries. At least they're being fed and not trying to survive on the streets."
I try really hard to "get it" and I try really hard to stay optimistic and positive and find funny things in life to keep me going. I try to remember that "it is what it is" and I can't change it and the only thing I have control over in this horrible situation is what I'm going to do with this wait we've been given. I want people to want to help Haiti and I want people to want to be involved and I try to keep things interesting and light here on the blog to keep people interested. No one wants to hang out with that bummer friend who drags everyone else down.
But every now and then I can't hold it in any more and I can't pretend that I'm OK with all of this. And I have my brat fit and then I move on and we go back to waiting. And we try to fill our waiting with fund raising and working to make things better in Haiti.
I wonder when I'll break down and paint the walls.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I hope everyone who ordered (or will be ordering) from our lia sophia fundraiser has that same experience. I hope they associate that piece of jewelry with these fabulous kids and our sweet little orphanage. I hope they recognize that they've done a good thing.
I wanted to say thank you to everyone who supported our lia sophia fundraisers so far. Emily gave me an update today and said we raised over $550 in one week for the orphanage!!
You can continue to support the orphanage (and get great jewelry) - she's creating a long-term account for us so that the commission from any sales done on her site where the shopper lists Hope for Little Angels of Haiti as the hostess will go straight to the orphanage.
Please feel free to copy the information below - put it on your own blog - send it out to your friends in email - rent a carrier pigeon - post it on Facebook - tattoo it on... well... maybe we won't go there. The point is, PLEASE tell everyone you know about it.
Great jewelry AND you help the kids. You can help us continue to raise
money towards our goal by:
1) Placing an order at www.liasophia.com/emilym and entering “Hope” as the hostess’s first name and selecting “Hope for Little Angels of Haiti” as the hostess. 30% of each sale will be donated.
2) Booking your own lia sophia show with me. (Emily's contact info is below)
3) Have a friend place an order or book a show.
Emily Mineer 435.251.9214 www.liasophia.com/emilym
Think of these beautiful kids and the families trying to get them home!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Teaching Sunbeams is a bit like being an aerobics instructor but without the cardiac benefits. You have to change things up every few minutes to keep them engaged because a 45 minute class is TORTURE for a 3 year old otherwise. I can't say that I blame them. If you've only lived for three whole years then 45 minutes is a huge percentage of your entire life compared to the adults you know.
Here are just two of the awesome moments from yesterday:
One of the little girls in my class was trying to tell me something so I was trying hard to listen to what she was telling me. One of the little boys in the class starts in with "Guess what I can do. Guess what I can do. Guess what I can do." over and over again as I'm trying to listen. I finally turn and say, "What, sweet friend. What is it you can do?"
His response? He says, "I can pee standing up. Wanna see??"
"Wow... NO! No, I do not want to see, but... uh...good job for... um,...thinking of others... and...I'm going to guess that means you need to go potty, right?"
So I take him to the restroom, and I'm standing outside the stall, holding the door closed for him. Those restroom stall latches are pretty complicated to work when you're only 3. From outside the door I hear him yell, 'Ta-da!!" when he finishes.
Oh, to be 3 again and have everything be magical and wonderful and to appreciate what a big deal it is to be able to accomplish little things!!
And the other story... my friend was sitting next to me, chatting. Her little girl (newly 4 yrs old) was down on the floor and was leaning against her mom's legs so her cheeks was on her mom's knee. My friend was wearing a skirt and cute leather boots. We were visiting and then I hear little E say, "Lori! Lori! Lori! Do you want to smell my mom's boots?"
"No," I said, "but thank you. I like the smell of leather as well. Do you want to smell them for me?" So she obliged and took a big, deep whiff. "They smell like my Aunt Cheryl," she announced. I guess Aunt Cheryl wears a lot of leather.
That made me wonder if there are smells that my relatives associate with me...
Anyone know what sarcastic angst smell like???
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
I mentioned that we have a big yard sale coming up - again with the proceeds going to the orphanage. Thanks to Candice for getting the O signed up for spaces at this sale!
Candice put together a nice list of things that sell well at these things. If you're in our area and would like to donate something to the yard sale, please email me at lolorosen at rapidwave dot net.
appliances – both large and small, working and non-working baby equipment – new parents and grandparents are shopping! books - paperback and hard cover, any genre children's toys – kids discover them, parents buy them china / pottery – put on display as a place setting if possible clothing – displayed properly, used clothing = dollars compact discs – music that you no longer listen to costume jewelry – a BIG seller, so price accordingly flatware – silver, stainless steel, etc garden tools – make sure that they're clean kitchen utensils & gadgets – these will sell like hotcakes! linens / bedding – washed and pressed, these are hot items patio furniture – these will probably sell in the first hour phonograph records / tapes – yep, people will buy them pictures / frames – people love old photographs plants – more about this later! shoes / boots – women's shoes are especially big sellers software – in the box, with instructions, very big at sales sports equipment – bats, balls, gloves, masks, etc tools – the perfect way to keep a man occupied at the sale video tapes – sell the movies that you're tired of
Monday, April 6, 2009
So, this is a plea to anyone in the reading area of my blog.... if you have something like furniture that is still in good condition but that you're no longer using, or any other good condition items, please contact me or Candice. We're looking for donations for the yard sale so that all the proceeds from the sale will go to the orphanage.
Please let us know what you have that you would sell off at a yard sale for our babies in Haiti.
Hope For Little Angels of Haiti... We're trying, we're working hard to help you get what you need to support these beautiful babies and keep them healthy.
We hope to hear from some of you that will help make things ready for the sale.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
He's having some pain but that's to be expected given that he just had foreign objects exploring his abdominal cavity yesterday. All in all he's doing really well. Thanks for your thoughts and kind words.
I mentioned the lia sophia fundraiser that my childhood friend is doing for the orphanage. If you're from out of town or if you won't be able to be there, let me share some info.
Look Great. Feel Great.
Helping has never been more fun!
You are invited to join us for a personalized lia sophia jewelry shopping experience. 30% of all sales will go to Hope for Little Angles of Haiti. Bring a friend and come help us reach our goal of raising enough money to purchase a generator for the orphanage.
You can place an order online at www.liasophia.com/emilym.
1. Click on "OUR JEWELRY"
2. Choose a catalog and shop.
3. Click on "HOW TO ORDER". Enter the hostess's name (use "Lori Rosenlof" so that she knows it's an orphanage order) and select "GO".
5. When you are finished shopping, click on "VIEW YOUR SELECTIONS".
6. Fill in the information requested to finalize your order.
Remember -April Customer Special
Emily will contact you to make sure your order is correct before she places it.
Friday, April 3, 2009
The way I look at it, his appendix is entirely to blame. Brent's a pretty patient guy. He's put up with me for 11+ years so that should show you that Brent has the patience of Job. So it's really saying something if he takes extreme measures. Brent doesn't just go from "oh, you're my appendix? Nice to meet you! I've heard about you but it's nice to put a face with the name" to "this relationship isn't working for me" to "you are dead to me. It will be as if you never existed" in such a short time frame for no reason.
He's a pretty reasonable guy. He would have tried counseling. He would have worked out some sort of schedule I'm sure. But no... suddenly EVERYTHING is about Appendix. Appendix has to be all "look at me! look at me!" and becomes such an attention-whore that Brent can't even think straight. It all boils down to Appendix being needy, self-centered and shallow. It's really like the Paris Hilton of internal organs.
Think about it... Brent's given Appendix food and shelter for all these years, taken Appendix on trips, and camping and all sorts of things, and do you think Appendix has ever once thanked Brent? No! Not once in 38 years! Not even a card! Then, out of the blue, Appendix stabs Brent in the back (or belly as the case may be). I mean, what's Appendix ever done for Brent REALLY. You give, and you give, and you give, and you get nothing back. Sometimes relationships are so one sided that they aren't worth the investment.
I don't blame Brent. I would have done the same thing if I were in his position (that position being "doubled over in pain").
Brent's gall bladder should consider this post a warning.