OK. I'll be honest... I despise it with the fires of a thousand suns.... I loathe every little Greeting Card Industry/"Every Kiss begins with K" fiber of its being. I hate Valentine's Day for the same reason. It's just another reason for Walmart to change out their impulse displays. And I find it maddening.
And then there's the requisite Mother's Day Church Program. Normally I do OK in Church on weeks when the talks are all about families and motherhood and how wonderful it is. My little friend, Cymbalta, even makes it so that I don't sob embarrassingly loud at the unfairness of such things. I can watch other women getting pregnant and having babies and blessing those babies and know that it will never, ever be me. And I'm usually OK with that. Usually...
The speakers yesterday where some kind men in our ward. On of them was our dear neighbor who told about how very much he's in love with his wife. I am so proud of Rob for being willing to share his feelings. I was very touched by his words. Your wife is amazing and the two of you pull together a lot to get the family environment you have.
And then they had the Primary children sing and the female teachers sang the counterpoint to their song. :
Mother, tell me a story that I love to hear. Tell me of heaven and how I came here.And it hit me, as we were up there singing in front of all my neighbors... it so completely sucks that I can't say those words to my babies. That I'm not there to protect them. That they're probably sleeping on the tile floor because it's cooler than their bunks. That I'm NOT there for them.
Tell how you love me and gently speak and then I'll go to sleep.
Child, I am here, can you feel that heaven is near? Sleep, sleep a love watch I'll keep to protect you through the night.
And you know, even when they do come home, I'll still hate Mother's Day and I"ll still ache for the unfairness of it all. How often does life actually turn out the way we plan?
Deep, cleansing breath... The Lord Never Cheats Anyone. The Lord Never Cheats Anyone. The Lord Never Cheats Anyone.