Saturday, January 23, 2010

Jessica has a Birth Father??

(I didn't post the "whole story" before because I didn't want to freak out other adoptive parents and make them concerned that this could happen to them. These sorts of things really don't happen very often. We just seem to have special experiences in the Rosenlof household. Given that the babies are coming home this week, I thought I could explain the background now. And since someday I'll make this blog into a journal for my children, it'll be good to document the situation.)

We get so many interesting questions when people find out that Jessica was taken by her birth father last month. The first question is, "If she has parents, how is she an orphan?"

How many babies placed for adoption in the "good ol' US of A" really have NO birth parents? Work with me, people.

Just like in America, Haitian birth parents can make the judgment call that their child would be better raised in different circumstances by different people. Unfortunately in Haiti, one of the factors that often leads parents to make this decision is the fact that they can't afford to feed their children.

Jessica's birth mother has been working at the orphanage where Jessica has been living. In fact, the reason that Jessica (and her half sister who is 5) are so healthy is because their birth mother HAS been there and has been nursing them this whole time. Don't freak out. It's cheaper to nurse a child than to feed them. Just be grateful that YOU have been spared being placed in a situation where you had to make that decision.

We've met her birth mother. I've posted about it before.

What we were told is that in December, Jessica's birth father (who lives somewhere else - not in PAP) and Jessica's birth mother got into some sort of disagreement. As a way to "get back at her", Jessica's birth father came to the orphanage and took her. We've been through this before. The police won't help. There's nothing the orphanage can do. And we, who have loved and prayed and been with this girl for since she was 18 months old have no rights in Haiti.

Initially, Jessica's birth father told the orphanage that he wanted us to PAY HIM for Jessica's return. In every country I'm aware of that's called child trafficking or kidnapping and we don't play that game. If we even THOUGHT about paying him for our child... can you even imagine the havoc that would break lose in Haiti if people thought they could make money selling children??

Our contacts in Haiti assured us that they had been working through friends of Jessica's birth father, that he had calmed down, that he no longer wanted money but that he decided he wanted to spend some time with her while he had her. "He doesn't want to raise her," we've been told. "He just wants to spend a couple of weeks with her before she goes to America forever"

Then all hell broke lose and the earth moved and buildings fell and Jessica's birth father is no longer in the place where he was before the earthquake.

Abel (the house manager from our O) and I hope Brent are going out tomorrow. Abel's starting with the people that knew him and the place he knew he lived and they'll work from there. Heavenly Father knows where my little girl is. He knows how to get her hooked back up with Abel and back in her "papa mwen's" arms.

He also knew how to get us $10K for jet fuel. So who am I to complain if His timing in getting Jessica back to us doesn't line up how I think it should??

God is in charge.

"For God knoweth all things and there is not anything save He knows it." (2 Nephi 9:20)

Somewhere out there is the plane we need, is the last of the DHS approvals we need (families have been notified this evening that they're approved - they're starting to be completed!!) and my little girl that I need. I'm going to be selfish on that one. I need my daughter.

But HE knows where she is and HE will provide.

Just like he did with the jet fuel.


Natasha said...

Amazing, amazing, amazing, what you're going through. Heartbreaking and uplifting all in one. Prayers from California.

Art Olson said...

As Paul Harvey would say, "And now my you know the rest of the story". At least a tiny part of it.
This beautiful young women and her handsome teddy bear of a husband have been and will continue to be awesome parents!!
Only heaven knows why things have turned out the way they have.
We can't wait to get our grandkids home and make them a permanent part of the family.
We love you Lori Ann Sister and that big teddy bear too!! And of course Nathan and Jessica!!

Pete and Mare said...

This whole experience has been packed full of miracles... especially for our little ones. I continue to believe that our loving Father in Heaven is saving a very special miracle for your family. We are praying with all of our hearts that today is the day that Jessica is found and returned to you, her forever family! Love all four of you! ~Mare

BethPie said...

Our family is praying for your family.

Homesick Cajun said...

I hope and pray that they find your daughter, what a beautiful child. My hear is aching for you, I can't imagine what you must be going through! Best of luck and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

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