Musings and thoughts as we work through the process of bringing our children home via international adoption.
Monday, February 4, 2008
To Have and To Have Not
I'd ordered some spaghetti noodles for dinner. Since there wasn't a lot of sauce, I figured it would be a safe bet for her to eat. I fed her some and sure enough, she chowed them down! Since she's 2 1/2, I assumed (never assume) that she'd want to feed herself. I proceeded to shovel some of the spaghetti onto a smaller plate for her.
And she started to scream.
I had no idea what was wrong and she was VERY upset. Our friend Chareyl (with Wasatch International http://wiaa.org/ ) said, "Feed her from the big plate again." I looked at her funny and she said, "just trust me." So I gave her another forkful from my plate. She immediately was at peace again. Like a switch had been flipped.
I looked at Chareyl, baffled as I couldn't explain what had just happened. She said, 'We see this all the time with kids that have been put in orphanages. She knows what it's like to be hungry and she wants to be sure she can have ALL the spaghetti if she needs it."
This mommy's heart broke.
I've heard parents who have adopted internationally say that their children will go to the pantry multiple times per day and just LOOK at the food - to make sure it's still there.
I pray and pray that we can get these children home soon, that their bellies may be full, their health may improve, their minds may be comforted as they learn what "home" means.
It's been 20 days since we've been able to hold and hug and kiss you.
Mommy and Daddy love you, Lexi and Nathan. Come home soon.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Let Them Eat Cake....
I wonder, though, what she would have said if she'd learned her people WERE eating cake - MUDCAKES, that it.
What will you say when you learn what Haiti's poor does to try to survive?
People haven't believed me when I told them that the poor literally eat dirt. Thank you, MSN for publishing this article this week:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22902512/
Friday, February 1, 2008
The Weather Outside Is Frightful…
The weather in Utah has been filled with snow, snow and more snow. That's fabulous for the Utah skiing industry – not so great for commuters like me.
However, my thoughts lately have not been on the slush and ice. They've been on my kids (shocker!)
What will Lexi think the first time she sees snow?
How will she feel about her first coat? She's never had to wear anything like that before.
What about boots?
How do you explain "cold" to a child from the Caribbean? Or air conditioning? (they don't have that at the orphanage!)
I'm also excited to give you popsicles… and yogurt… and so many other things.
And, as always, I wonder which winter we'll finally have you home. Will it be next winter? Will it be the one after that?
I can scarcely wait to get them home. I keep hearing that things in the Haitian government are going "faster", but I've also seen my friends wait 20 months and still not have their kids.
Will they remember who we are the next time we see them? (hopefully in April/May)
I hope that you're having a good day, Lexi. That you're feeling better. That you're happy. That you know you're loved. That someone gives you a hug or two today.
Nathan, will you be crawling the next time we see you? I'd somehow be happy to see your little knees all roughed up by the tile floors at the O (orphanage). There's really not a lot of soft space there for you to figure out how to be mobile.
I hope you're well, Nathan. That you're being loved on by the "aunties" at the O. That you're sleeping well. That you're still singing to yourself and being as happy as you were when we saw you.
Mommy and Daddy love you both very much. Come home soon.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Resting in Peace… and Comfort
Allow me to sing praises to the glorious invention that is the Boeing 777 business class seat. It's a recliner that adjusts 10 different ways or lays flat for sleeping. It comes with a real live pillow – not one of those used cotton balls in a woven cover that you usually get on a plane. It also has a duvet for each person. The leg space would make an NBA player happy, so my 36" inseam was in a bliss never before known while hurdling through space in a pressure controlled metal tube.
The lavatory is such that I was not forced to inhale sharply in order to have enough room to change my mind.
I was able to adjust my seat with such a finely tuned, 10-directional precision that my scoliosis heaved a sob of relief. The flight to DFW was like sitting on a metal plate. The flight from DFW to Miami – in the fabulous 777 – was like a dream (a dream within a dream?)
Bless you, Boeing designers. Oh, that I'd had this type of accommodations during my 14-hour flight to Singapore.
The best part? We didn't pay for an upgrade. It just let us change our seats when we checked in.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Haitian Information
- 80% of people in Haiti live in extreme poverty.
- Life expectancy in Haiti is less than 50 years old.
- 10% of the child population in Haiti will die before the age of 4.
- The average Haitian family lives off of $1 US dollar a day.
- Haiti is ruled by the wealthy. 1% of the population controls 40% of the wealth, where as 80% of Haitian families in the countryside live on less than $150 US dollars per year.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Ties That Bind
I had purchased a little necklace and bracelet made out of brightly colored wooden beads. I had envisioned that she'd like to wear them and "dress up". She cried the day I tried to put them on her. And the next day when I tried again. It broke my heart that we couldn't play at all. I wanted her to have some pleasant memory of Mommy and Daddy.
The next to last day, I was holding her and rocking her when an idea struck me. I reached over and picked up the necklace and looped it twice around my own wrist. Then I set my wrist back down where she could see it and waited for a minute or two. Then I reached over for the bracelet and held it out to her. She lifted up her little arm and held it out for me to put the bracelet on. It was OK to wear it if Mommy was doing it as well. At least, that's how I chose to view it.
So, I still wear this bracelet. It reminds me of my daughter and I hope she's still wearing hers, 2800 miles away in Haiti.
I love you, Lexi. I hope we'll soon have happy memories together.
Friday, January 25, 2008
New Pictures!
This is a pretty good representation of Lexi's stink eye look. It's kind of a cross between "You are dead to me", "Talk to the hand" and "If I don't look at them, maybe they'll go away." We saw this a lot, unfortunately, because she just plain didn't feel well.
Mr. Nathan, just hanging out.
The Rosenlofs! This was taken our next-to-last morning at breakfast in the hotel.
Love Letters
The text says, "Cousins are totally exciting even though we already have them they are way fun. :)".
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Two Points for the Lord!!
We know this is directly related to the many prayers our friends and family have offered up on her behalf. We are so grateful for the love and support received by our family, and particularly our daughter.
I've been so worried about her. This is my journal entry from last night:
"We're having a family fast for Lexi today. I'm pretty worried and
really wish I had the details on what is wrong with her and that I could be
there to hold her and rock her.
I wonder all the time what she thinks of the week we were there. Does
it seem like a strange dream? Does she think about it? Does she have
any idea who we were or that we are coming back for her?I know she doesn't have anyone to hold her at the hospital. I hope she'll somehow know how many people are praying for her right now and have combined their faith to plead with the Lord to help her heal. "
Thank you for loving us and for your continued prayers and support. We're so grateful for what we've experienced and for Lexi's improvement.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Why Mommy and Daddy Must Return to Haiti... SOON!!
I don't know that I need to say more....
My kids are my happy thought!
Hang in there, Lexi.
Items for Families to Remember for Their Trips to Haiti
These are the items I was glad I brought or wish I'd brought:
- baby medicine droppers
- Big ziploc bags (for dirty clothes)
- Tide laundry detergent (we washed things in the sink multiple times per day because Lexi was so sick)
- spare flat sheets (there were a few nights where we had to change the sheets because Lexi had been sick during the night)
- Febreeze and Ozium (again, there were a lot of not so pleasant smells)
- LOTS of small bills ($1 and $5 USD) for tipping at the restaurant, room service, etc
- Children's TYLENOL (not Motric - apparently many Haitians are allergic to Motrin as we found out the hard way)
- Antifungal cream (like for athelete's foot) to treat ringworm. The OTC stuff isn't as strong as prescription, but it still helped.
- Olive oil (Walgreen's sells a cream that works into hair rather nicely).
- Spray bottle (for water to wet their hair when fixing it in the AM)
- Dishsoap (we had to wash out bottles throughout the week)
- washcloths and towels (we never could get the hotel to give us enough for a family of 4 with sick kids)
- lots of baby blankets (we put Lexi on one every time she slept which made "blowouts" easier to deal with)
- Pedialite and Pediasure
- Sunglasses and hats for everyone
- bug spray
- multiple sizes of diapers (Lexi had lost so much weight that she ended up needing the size we brought for our 5 month old!! If one of the other moms hadn't had extra of that size we would have been in serious trouble)
- Orajel (if the child might be teething)
- flat rubber drain stop (neither our tub nor our sink's drains worked properly so it made it hard to wash things - children included)
Hope this helps someone somewhere!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Here We Go Again...
During our time in Haiti, there were points where she was so sick and weak that Brent and I looked at each other and wondered if she was going to make it. It was that bad after they'd RELEASED her from the hospital.
Now we hear that she's back in the hospital - no more information than that. This time she doesn't have Mommy to hold her and help her feel better. And Mommy needs that as much as Lexi does. I don't want to rely on 4th-hand information from a medical center in Haiti that, while they're trying to do their best.... it just isn't aways enough.
PLEASE PRAY for Alexis Sophia, her health, comfort, her body's ability to get stronger, and for the doctors and nurses caring for her - that they will be led to the best solutions get her home and healthy as soon as possible.

Come Home Soon! Mommy and Daddy Need You!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Welcome to the Family, part II

This is 4 of the 5 girls (sisters-in-law, my sister and me) being goofy at the reception...

Welcome to the family to you as well, Paige. I'm thrilled to have you as my sister!
Welcome to the Family, part I

Sunday, January 20, 2008
Mommy's Favorite Girl
Renmen ou, Alexis Sophia.
Friday, January 18, 2008
My Little Man
The first two nights we were home, Mommy would hear a noise and find herself jumping awake and feeling around on the bed for the child that needed comforting. I was actually disoriented when neither of you were there.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
All Because of You...
Apparently, the French families don't bring donations to the orphanage when they come. They just come get their children.
She was completely floored with all the donations we sent. There was over 650 lbs total in clothes, diapers, formula, books, crayons, etc. She could not believe that we would do that for her.
The women from our agency (Wasatch International Adoptions) had taken their teenage daughters down to help with some of the things that needed to be done. The first thing the girls did was dress all the little boys in boy clothes. You can't be picky about the 'sex of clothing' when you don't have much to choose from. They also pinned outfits together so they'd know which items were a set. :)
We also had a good amount of cash to give her - donated by you all. Wasatch's coordinators gave it to her on our last day and just told her it was from people and companies that wanted to show their support for what she was doing. When she opened the envelope and saw how much was there, she started to scream, "Thank you, Jesus! Thank you, Jesus!"
You all are the reason that we were able to do anything. All your support and contributions have made a permanent impact on those children. All those items make one less thing that Nadia has to worry about and one more opportunity for her to spend resources on other needed items.
There's still so much they need. We need to try to figure out a way to get a generator for her. The orphanage doesn't have power all the time and they're in a blackout every other night (literally). Can you imagine 45 kids and no power?? We also need a laptop to assist with getting pictures and paperwork on their end for adoptions.
The agency is going back down in April (they try to go down about every 3 months) so we'll continue gathering items to send down with them at that time.
Thank you again for loving our kids!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Consider This Our Christmas Card...
This is a picture of Lexi when Mommy is putting lotion on her. You can see all her bones. There are scabs from bedsores on her spine. She really doesn't feel very well in this picture. However, if you watch through the coming posts you can see her improving even though we were only there a few days.
She has the most brilliant smile and we were privileged to see it about 4 times while there. This picture was taken the day before we left. I'd dressed her and took her over to the mirror to see how cute she looked. I said, 'So pretty!!" and touched her face and she smiled for the first time.
To the Unknown Man in 27G
The reason I treated you like you had the plague was because, well, I do. Or did. I've treated it now.
Having a very sick Haitian daughter who was just released from the hospital and holding her for a week while she tried to recover means that you can pick up what she has. Including scabies. A gift that keeps on giving.
I've traveled a fair amount. Never before today has it ever occurred to me to worry about whether the person next to me - a complete stranger - was transporting little bugs on their skin. Believe me, I was much more anxious to get home than you were and I think I did a good job of avoiding all contact with you.
So, maybe I made you feel like a freak when I pulled very far away every time you shifted. It's OK. Really. You're not a freak. And now, hopefully, you're also scabies-free.
Next time you're on a plane, sleep well... And may dreams of what microscopic visitors your fellow passengers are carrying not dance in your head.
We Are a Happy Family!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Would You Like Cheese With Your Whine?
In a way, this moment is everything Haiti is NOT. I have power - my kids don't have power every night. They only get it every other evening. I have prepackaged unessentials at my fingertips (and chilled at that). I'm in my own space, in a safe place, on a quiet street. No one's ever been kidnapped in my neighborhood. You don't need government approval to come visit me (or to leave comments - come on, people!) We can get in our air conditioned car and drive anywhere or nowhere at a whim.
My friend, Alisha adopted a little boy from Haiti. She said the driver they had in Haiti told them that his family was fortunate enough to have a car at home, but they hadn't driven it in about 6 months because it needed a new battery. If you have to choose between a battery and food, you pick food. If you have to choose between gasoline at $6 a gallon and most anything else....
We won't have internet access in Haiti, and we'll only have emergency cell phone access. We are taking our camera and I'm taking a book to jot thoughts. We return late at night on the 15th and we have the 16th off of work to recover. The plan, at this point, is that I'll start posting about the trip with pictures of the kids, and us and the kids, and Haiti and the kids, and the kids with the other kids, and the pool and the kids... on the 16th.
We know we're going with the prayers and thoughts of many people. For that, we thank you.
Thank you for loving us and for loving Lexi and Nathan. We'll do our best to convey that to them.
T-12 hours and counting.....
The Path Will Be Made Clear
I spent the bulk of the evening repacking and prioritizing what we have been given. I smell a Gospel principle coming...There's something to be said for taking stock of what you have and recognizing in the process what you've been given. And then being grateful for it.
With some rearranging and not too much repriorizing, we were able to get more items in fewer suitcases. It was literally a blessing (thanks Nate and Rob). The peace you brought to our home and the promise of my stress being lifted was immediately manifest. It's amazing how much space you can save by rearranging how you squish the kid's diapers into the suitcases. I fit all 50 teddy bears that Mom R's ward made for the kids in a smaller suitcase WITH a bunch of other toys. It's like an entire suitcase of joy! (and a couple of sheets, thanks Teri.) :) Things just really came together.
We got our last minute papers notarized. While in Haiti we hope to be able meet with the US Immigration (called USCIS now - they're under the Department of Homeland Security these days). If our paper work is right and if that meeting goes well then we can be granted permission for USCIS to do the search for Lexi and Nathan's birthparents simultaneously to the Haitian ISBER process. (the normal process is that the US Government waits until Haiti has spent their year going through things and THEN they go out and attempt to locate the birth parents in a country where people don't have phones, emails or homes in many cases. They'll spend a lot of time trying to track them down and then bring them into PAP for an interview with USCIS. Our government wants to know that the parents know their children are gone forever when they're adopted. The birth parents can change their mind at that point and we really don't want that to happen.) Anyway, if this is approved for us then we don't have to have an additional US wait at the end of this already long process - we can do "concurrent enrollment", as it were, and have both governments working simultaneously. Novel idea, eh?
My whole world is going to change in 36 hours. Leavin'.... on a jet plane.... Brent admitted that he's nervous that Lexi won't like him. I can't imagine how any child couldn't love having Daddy Brent. I think one snuggle and they'll be stuck on each other. I've seen many a baby snuggle into him and just be content in his arms.
I was reminded tonight that there's a purpose to everything that happens. There are reasons that we've been married for 10 years and haven't been able to have children. There are reasons that we've been working on adoption in one form or another for 6-8 years and nothing's happened yet. I was reminded that God is aware of us and that we're doing the right thing. The big reason nothing's happened yet is that my little Nathan is only 4 months old. We wouldn't have him if anything had worked previously. I can only begin to catch a glimpse of how much our lives are going to change; begin to fathom how much our lives, as a family, are about to start.
Melissa tells me that her Haitian children just kept patting her hair and her face - so many different textures that are unfamiliar. Just a few more hours until I can officially feel like a mom, and a "Mama Blanc" at that.
We're coming, Lexi and Nathan. We're coming.
Funny Thought From the Fast Lane...
Char's sister and her husband moved to St. Croix (pronounced "kroy") after Hurricane Andrew. The husband is a general contractor and they moved their whole family down there to work rebuilding homes and such. Char went down to help her sister nanny (nice gig, eh??)
Anyway, Sister of Char was pregnant at the time. The locals (those from St. Croix are called "Crucians") decided that since this baby would always be part Crucian because he was born in St. Croix. They determined, then, that as a "part Utahn and part Crucian" that he would actually be a "Crutahn". For some reason that always makes me giggle. I'm sure they were very proud of themselves for coming up with that one. I'm proud of them too. Go, Crucians!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Where We Are
We leave in less than 3 days. 2 days and some change, really. I've packed and repacked and then weighed the suitcases and repacked some more. I've washed and folded pounds of clothing and blankets and cloth diapers. I'm wondered what else I can fit in and what else I need. About the time I start wondering how much Brent can fit in the pocket of his cargo shorts, then I know that I've possibly overpacked.
Two days of work. 1 day of travel. 4 more "sleeps". (We have to spend Wednesday night in Miami - so we don't get to Haiti until Thursday.)
Brent's had a bad kidney day. Not "time in the hospital" bad, but pretty unpleasant none the less. I hope he's OK in Haiti. A lot fewer options there. He has a hard time if he lifts or moves too much. Brent apparently gives off a vibe that can only be picked up by small children and animals that says "I'm a human jungle gym." It will be hard for him to be around all the little kids at the orphanage and not play and rough and tumble with them.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
And the Beat Goes On...
I started my new job today. It's a very calm environment and I'm really looking forward to it. So far I'm just going to be learning how they do things, but I think it's a really good fit.
There's a woman that I work with now who is also a "dog person". I was talking to her about her dogs and she showed me a picture. One of her pooches is named "Lexi" and I was able to say, "Oh, that's my daughter's name." Unless you've been trying for 10 years to have children, you may not ever know exactly how awesomely cool it was to say that.
The Brown cousins brought down a bunch of cloth diapers today. These girls have saved the money as a family and decided to give it to our orphanage. We're so grateful and we know it will be put to good use.
My aunt, who is on a retirement income, sent us a nice check today for our orphanage. Grandma R's ward has made dozens of little fleece teddy bears. We picked up a bunch of those today and she also gave us money for the kids. We're overwhelmed by the outpouring of love for our kids. Can't wait to post pictures when we get back. We hope you'll be as in love with all their beautiful faces as we are.
We found out today we have one more available suitcase to fill from one of our group members. Our luggage runneth over! We were starting to think we'd have to put some of this aside until the next trip in April. Yeah for empty suitcases!
I recently had one of those "you never know who is watching you" experiences. My friend told me that she overheard her 7 yr old daughter playing with her little friend. They were making decorations out of beads. The other girl said, "What do you do with these when you're done?" And Sara said, "Give them to someone special." and the friend said, 'Like who?" and Sara said, 'Like Lori".
I share that because it reminds me that you never know who you're impacting. Even all our friends and family that are donating to our kids. It's not just the kids that are impacted by their love and generosity - they don't know these children and their future parents and siblings, etc, etc. But they're reaching out to Make these children's lives more comfortable, safe, secure and healthy. That isn't something you can put a price on and, unfortunately, it's not an opportunity that comes along every day. It's been a beautiful opportunity to see the genuine goodness of our neighbors, friends and family. We are so privileged to be able to participate in this.
Thank you, Lexi and Nathan, for needing us as much as we need you.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Happy New Year!
Brent's going to be able to go back into the office tomorrow. He's been working from home the last few days, but he's been feeling much better now that the infection is cleared up.
Some of my Young Women came over today and we hung out and "scrapbooked" calendars for them for the next year. We had a lot of fun chatting and snacking and messing around with paper and ribbon. :)
I've got the rest of the evening booked with washing all the clothes and blankets that have been donated for Haiti so we'll know they're good to go when we get there. We've really had so much help from so many people. Our agency will be sending a group down again in April so any "overflow" will go down with them in a few more weeks.
A childhood friend of mine is also adopting a girl and boy from Haiti right now. She's much farther along in the process than we are and she should be just weeks away from bringing her kids home. She gave me 12 new pairs of children's sandals to take to our kids. She's helping the foundation that supports her children's orphanage to build a school in their village, so they've been busy gathering desks and chairs and chalkboards, etc for that major endeavor. She said they already have 500 village children that want to attend the school when it's completed!
She also said the Haitian government has been contacting her orphanage lately, hoping they can take abandoned infants. So she's trying to gather up infant formula to take with her when she goes again to bring home her children. We just don't realize how lucky and "geographically blessed" we are.
I'm very intrigued to see what awaits us in Haiti. We're staying at the Haitian equivalent of a 5 star hotel, but our coordinator just let me know that we'll probably want to bring our own sheets! I know the hotel is gated and guarded. It's just a completely different world.
I've also been thinking about the logistics of bottled water. We not only need to use it for brushing teeth, etc, but for mixing Nathan's bottles and then washing them afterwards. Fortunately we can buy bottled water at the hotel, so we don't have to bring that down as well. 200 lbs of luggage doesn't go very far when you're trying to haul so many necessities for these children. (And I thought it was hard packing my bags for my 18-months as an LDS missionary!!) Every bit of space needs to be prioritized.
Monday, December 31, 2007
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Haiti!!
It's been an amazing day for another reason. If you haven't read the blog post from November 27th called "KohlBabySweetStars" you'll want to read that before you finish this. I received the following email today from Kohl's mommy, Clarissa:
"I just thought you would like to know that I was having a conversation with Kohl this morning about this little black boy that he says, "lives really far away".
"Him is 4 yrs. old like me", and "him has no hair". He also apparently eats lots of "ice cream".
"Him has a baby sister", and she has no hair, and she is "really little".
"He was a great boy." said Kohl.
Well, I had your blog pulled up because I was reading it, and I pulled Kohl up on my lap to show him the picture of Lexi and Nathan. He said with real, sincere excitement, "Hey, that's the girl I saw with no hair!" (meaning Nathan)
I thought that was really cool. And Kohl has been known for getting boys and girls confused based on their hair. (for example, the little boy from Jungle Book......Kohl thinks he is a girl because he has long hair)
I honestly think Kohl knew Lexi from Heaven. I thought you would enjoy that.
Cliss"
I do believe that children are closer to God than the rest of us (thus "out of the mouths of babes"). I also believe these are OUR kids. We just knew when we saw their pictures. They were the first referral we received and we really didn't ned to go any further. We've moved pretty confidently forward since we found them, with the feeling that this was right and it would all work out in the end.
Thank you again, KohlBabySweetStars, for reminding me to LISTEN and for being sure about what you know. I'm so excited for you, BabyPrincessPaige and Lexi and Nathan to play together.
Let's hope that it's not in 2 years ('cause that's when she'll be "4 years old like you")!
(Kohl in 2005 wearing some PJs I brought back for him from Singapore. He's such a cute little bug!)
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Why Does This Take So Long?
The whole process takes at least 12 months, and hopefully less than 24 months.
Hope this helps answer some questions.
All-Time Favorite
One day the Adventuresome Little Carrot said, 'Shy Little Carrot, there's a whole big world outside our carrot patch and we don't even know what it is! Let's go exploring!!"
The Shy Little Carrot said, 'I don't know, man... it looks kinda scary..."
But the Adventuresome Little Carrot said, 'Come on! Let's go!"
So they HOPPED out of their carrot patch and they hopped and they hopped and they hopped and they hopped.
Pretty soon they came to a freeway! Big trucks going one way! Screaming semis going the other! The Adventuresome Little Carrot thought THIS WAS HEAVEN!! So he watched and he watched... and he waited and he waited... and at just the right time....
ZOOM!!
Ran across the road to the other side!
WHAT... A.... RUSH!!
He turned back to his friend and said, 'Shy Little Carrot! Shy Little Carrot! Come on, man, you can do it!"
And the Shy Little Carrot said, 'I don't know, man... it looks kinda scary...". But he watched and he watched... and he waited and he waited... and at just the right time....
SPLAT!!
Carrot salad.... all over the freeway.....
So they called the little carrot hospital and they sent the little carrot ambulance and they scooped up the Shy Little Carrot and they put him in the carrot ambulance and took him to the carrot hospital and he was in carrot surgery for hours...
and hours...
Finally, the little carrot surgeon came out and said, "Adventuresome Little Carrot... I have some news about your friend. He's going to live, but.... he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life."
Friday, December 28, 2007
So Long... Farewell...
On the Brent update...we go to the urologist on Monday and one of the things we'll find out is if Brent can travel. Given the kidney infection he's been fighting and everything his body has been through, we're not sure if it's safe for him to be in the Land of Typhoid, etc. If he's just not well enough, we'll have to postpone the trip until April, which is the next time our orphanage is sending a group down.
It's maddening that something so tiny could disrupt our lives so much and cause Brent so much agony. I don't want this speck of sand to get in the way of our ability to hug our kids.
One of Brent's friends said that it's too bad kidney stones aren't worth something - like pearls, for example. There's an irritant that gives something back. At least then there'd be a point to all this. We could save them - we'd practically have a necklace by now. His friend said, 'Then he could have given the stone to you for a Christmas present."
That brings a flood of other potential conversations flowing through my head...
"Look at the ring Brent gave me?"
"Oh! It's lovely! Is that a kidney stone?"
"Yes, he made it himself!"
I'll stop there... enough said.
There sure are a lot of things going on right now. Sick husband. Job Change. Trip to Haiti. Brother getting married 3 days after we return.
12 days.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Where Do We Go From Here
2 days left at work at my current job. 1 week until I start my new job. 14 days until I get on a plane to see my babies.
Come on, Kidney Stone! Time to move on to other things.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Where Everybody Knows Your Name
Similarly, when we ended up being admitted to the MedSurg floor again (third time in 8 days), all I could say to the nurses was "We're Baa-ack". He's had very good care from the nurses and the doctors here. That's at least a plus.
He's got a kidney infection and that caused some pretty severe pain that we couldn't keep in check with the oral pain medication he's had. When they figured out the pain was caused by an infection, they decided to admit him. With the stint and stone they said, "These things can go from bad to worse really quickly". So, once again, he's got a beautiful view of the AF Hospital doctor's parking lot. I think that's what that is.
The big picture - at least we're together. At least we only have 15 days until we go to see our kids. At least we're able to get medical help for Brent in this time of pain. I can't imagine how the pilgrims or the pioneers dealt with kidney stones or the like. Bring on the pain mediciations!
We'd planned on having a very quiet Christmas this year, given that all our non-work energies have been focused on Haiti. I don't know why I bother planning things. :) Quiet and calm are two things we haven't had. Maybe next Christmas we'll have the kids with us. And then we'll have a better kind of loud and busy.
15 days
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Packages...
Nathan's shorts arrived today. It's also terribly hard to shop for a child you've never seen. The last weight information I received for Nathan was taken when he was less than a month old. Methinks a child at his age may have possibly grown since then. A bit. Or more. There's really no clothing scale to tell me how much a newborn orphan in Haiti may weigh now. Our friend Nichole, (who has actually been to our orphanage and is escorting us on this trip) says that ours is about the "only Haitian orphanage with chubby-cheeked kids". It's still hard to say how big he is now. I ordered the closest I could find to "6 month" since he'll be almost 5 months old when we get there.
Lexi, I got your swimming suit today. It's pink and has flowers and ruffles. The hotel we're staying at has a pool. We can play together there as one of our first family activities.
I ordered the classic "Love You Forever" in French so the orphanage has a copy. I'm also taking our copy in English.

The optimist part of me wants to believe that you'll somehow be FINE with tall, white strangers taking you from the home you have now and smuggling you to a hotel for a week, Lexi. In the daydreams from that side of my mind, we get to snuggle up on the bed and read bedtime stories and I read this to you in English. I dream that even though you don't know the English words I'll be saying, you understand the feeling I'm trying to convey. In that dream, when we leave and the nannies at the orphanage have the same book and they read it to you in French, I dream that you'll possibly remember a bit about those bedtime stories and how safe you felt with Mommy and Daddy. Maybe you won't feel so far away from home. Maybe I won't feel so far away from you.
If, upon arrival in Haiti, reality drags my optimist-self out into an alley and pummels her senseless then at least the nannies will still have the French book. And knowing that I did SOMETHING to try to make things better until you can come home will help me feel not so far away from you.
18 days.
Christmas Comes Early... And Late
There are a lot of people that love you already, Lexi and Nathan. By the way, it's 18 days until we get on a plane to come to see you.
One of Brent's coworkers came by yesterday. Her father likes to do something at Christmas time to help others and sent her money to give to us for your orphanage.
Then your cousins called Grandma. The Browns also save their change every year and do something for others with it at Christmas. They want to give it to your orphanage this year.
Two of Mommy's favorite people at work sent money to take to you. (sorry I couldn't make it to lunch, guys!)
I mentioned the money Daddy's coworkers raised with their bake sale last month.
The Rosenlof household is having Christmas in January this year. But then again, we've seen the Spirit of Christmas for the last several weeks in the outpouring of love that has been shown to you.
I know you'll know you're loved by all these family and friends when you get here. Oh, how I wish there was some way to bottle up these feelings and take them to you now.
18 days.
Stone Search 2007
They did try several things and we learned some things as well. The doctor discovered that Brent's urerter has a section where it narrows significantly. It's called a stricture - it's probably scar tissue from a previous stone. It gets so narrow that there's no way a stone like this could pass. They couldn't even move the scopes up to where they needed to because of this stricture.
One thing that comes up when people hear about kidney stones is they have to start sharing what they've had relatives experience or gone through themselves.
"I had a 6 mm stone for 3 months in 1998 and barely felt a thing..."
"My Aunt Edna's cousin had a stone and you wouldn't believe where it got stuck!"
"I'll tell you, I've never wished I could die except for the time I had that kidney stone"
(which, by the way, isn't helpful to tell someone agonizing in pain from a kidney stone at the moment).
The thing that you don't think about is whether it's physically possible for your body to rid itself of a stone of a certain size. And for Brent, all those people who kept telling him it was a "small stone" were only looking at half the picture.
Now we know. And, as GI Joe would say, "Knowing is half the battle".
They put a stint in to try to help expand the area where the stone can't pass. The part I don't get is how the stone is supposed to pass if you're filling up the area with this device, but what do I know.
The other strange physiology thing we learned today was that Brent's kidneys aren't laid out normally. You're supposed to have an area where the ureter meets the different sections of the kidney - where all the areas of the kidney flow into each other. They call this area the "renal pelvis". I prefer to think of it as the "kidney foyer". The business end of the stint is supposed to sit in this "foyer" and wait patiently for someone come calling and take it out. Brent doesn't have a renal pelvis/kidney foyer to speak of. (there's a comment in there somewhere about how even Brent's kidneys aren't very social....) The doctor was quite frustrated because it limited what they were able to do and where they could work. And since Brent's kidneys aren't welcoming enough to have a foyer, the doctors had to wrap the wire end of the stint down into one of the portions of his kidney. The doctor said, 'That might be why the stint hurts him so much." MIGHT be?? Fabulous.
As a note, it's not a good idea to have your mother-in-law only hear the portion of the doctor's post-op consult where he says "Brent doesn't have a pelvis". All sorts of things start to conjure up and she starts to wonder exactly what they were doing in that operating room!
At any rate, we're still in the hospital, and we're trying to keep the pain under control and the other issues that accompany a stint contained and we're trying to get Brent feeling better. He's staying the night again. We'll know more tomorrow how bad it's going to be. The stint was the kiss of death for Brent last time.
If only he'd had the foresight to build a foyer in his kidney....
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard This One Before...
I don't know if you've seen "Independence Day", but there's a scene where they think they've destroyed the alien ship and then, when the dust clears, it's still sitting there unharmed. I thought of that today when they told us the stone was still present and accounted for. "The target remains. I repeat, the target remains."
On the good side, this means Brent isn't losing his mind - he has been in kidney stone pain this entire time. He was starting to get a lot of skeptical looks from the well-meaning staff. Can't say as I blame them - it should have been pulverized.
On the other good side, at least we found out that there's still a straggling stone NOW instead of in a couple of weeks when we're in Haiti. I shutter to think of what THAT would have been like.
Which reminds me... Brent's first kidney stone came when he was serving an LDS mission in the Philippines. During a typhoon. With no electricity. They did finally get him to a hospital, but once there it took the poor doctors awhile to figure out that their "normal" dose of morphine was "Filipino-sized" and that this large 6' 4" guy MIGHT need a little more than their average patient.
So, hopefully we get this cleared up in time for the trip to Haiti to go off without a hitch.
Hopefully the urologists will have an idea on how to help him.
Hopefully he'll be able to sleep and they'll be able to keep his pain under control.
Thank you to Nate and Al (and John) as well as to our friends at both our jobs for their help and support. I know it hasn't been easy covering for us. We appreciate your help.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
How to Deal...
The doctor that did rounds on the floor last night shared an interesting story. He has a colleague who has adopted two children from China. His daughter was 2 when they brought her home from the orphanage. He said when she got her she started refusing to interact with people who tried to speak to her in Chinese. To this day, she won't speak to Asian people unless they speak English to her. He said they figure it was her young mind's way of dealing with the difficulties of being in an orphanage and the massive change of being brought to the USA.
I've wondered for sometime what Lexi will deal with as she tries to make the transition to her new home. I'm still terribly optimistic that Nathan will be young enough that it will be easier for him. There's still no way to know how long we're going to have to wait to bring them home. I just hope and pray that we're able to help them get through the current wait and the next transition and help them to grow to be strong, productive, confident people.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Status Quo
Brent's in the hospital today. He's got the kidney stone from...Cleveland. We've been to the ER three times today and, as they, three strikes and you're IN - the hospital, that is. Since they can't get his pain under control they've admitted him and he'll be staying overnight. He's in so much pain. It's horrible to see him like this. We don't know what's going to happen at this point. The urologists are coming to do rounds in the morning and there's been talk about perhaps trying to get him in for a lithotripsy this week.
Ironically, it was nearly a year ago today that we started Kidney Stone 2006. For those of you that didn't get the T-shirts... too bad. That ordeal extended over 4 weeks, involved 6 trips to the ER and one to InstaCare and 2 surgeries before he was finally able to divorce himself from that stone.
Given that we're supposed to be leaving for Haiti in THREE WEEKS, we can't afford for this one to go like that. He has to be better. He's not going to get on a plane to a 3rd world country in pain like this.
I'm also in the process of changing jobs. I'm been at my current employer for over 9 years and have found another opportunity that I'm going to take. However, this is a lousy time for me to be out. If you don't believe me, just ask the guy that I'm supposed to be training to replace me. Sorry, Eric!
Here's to hoping that THIS, too, shall pass. And soon.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
And a Little Child Shall Lead Them....
I've been very blessed to be involved in this process of collecting items for our kids. The outpouring of love we've seen has been nearly overwhelming.
God Bless Us, Everyone!
The next interesting thing was the arrival of a gentleman I will call Harley Biker Dude. He came in - full beard down to his chest and hair to his shoulders - in his jacket. The ensemble was completed with boots and a beer belly. You can picture him, I'm sure. When he walked in, I immediately though, 'Rottweiler". You just tend to guess people's pets from their appearance. Imagine my surprise when he walked over and picked out a bag of very expensive specialty cat food. He snugged the small bag on his hip and went over to wait his turn in line.
I was very intrigued by Harley Biker Dude. As I watched him, it became apparent that he knew a lot about animals. He asked a woman how old her Pekingese was. I was surprised he correctly identified the breed. Thanks to my years of attending dog shows with my parents as a child, I of course knew immediately that it was a cross between a dog and a toilet brush with a gland problem, as my dad would say. There's just something amusing about Harley Biker Dude saying, 'Pekingese".
Anyway, he got to the front of the line and while the girl was calculating his total, he started asking very detailed questions about this injured dog. She was confused about how Harley Biker Dude would even know anything about the dog but he kept drilling her for information. She finally told him that they weren't sure what they were going to do with the dog. He asked what their options were and she told him. When she said, "surgery, amputation or euthanasia" he became quite agitated and said, 'Don't do anything. I'll get right back to you."
About 10 minutes later, there was a phone call. It was Mr. and Mrs. Harley Biker Dude. It turns out they are the neighbors of the family with the injured pet and they couldn't bear to see the children lose their pet at Christmas. They told the vet that they would pay up to $2500 for the dog's surgery on the condition that the vet never tell the family who was paying for the surgery. "Just call them and tell them the surgery is taken care of and set it up."
Not only was I impressed by their generosity, concern and kindness but I was reminded how often we "judge a book by its cover". I wouldn't have pegged Harley Biker Dude for a Pekingese lover. I also didn't expect him to be willing to so selflessly give so much money for his neighbors. He reminded me to try a little hard to be good and a bit more "Tiny Tim" and less "Scrooge" this year.
Thank you, Harley Biker Dude, wherever you are.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Kids Helping Kids
I was reminded today of something that was mentioned in our last international adoption training. She was telling us that one of the orphanages they work with in Vietnam will wash and reuse disposal diapers when they get them. They just have nothing and so they have to stretch what they get as far as they can. I can't imagine what that must.... smell like..., not to mention the "absorbent" cores in disposable diapers these days.

