Packages...

I may have mentioned earlier that Utah in January is not a good place to find children's clothing for tropical countries. I've even had trouble finding much on Target/Walmart.com.


Nathan's shorts arrived today. It's also terribly hard to shop for a child you've never seen. The last weight information I received for Nathan was taken when he was less than a month old. Methinks a child at his age may have possibly grown since then. A bit. Or more. There's really no clothing scale to tell me how much a newborn orphan in Haiti may weigh now. Our friend Nichole, (who has actually been to our orphanage and is escorting us on this trip) says that ours is about the "only Haitian orphanage with chubby-cheeked kids". It's still hard to say how big he is now. I ordered the closest I could find to "6 month" since he'll be almost 5 months old when we get there.


Lexi, I got your swimming suit today. It's pink and has flowers and ruffles. The hotel we're staying at has a pool. We can play together there as one of our first family activities.


I ordered the classic "Love You Forever" in French so the orphanage has a copy. I'm also taking our copy in English.




The optimist part of me wants to believe that you'll somehow be FINE with tall, white strangers taking you from the home you have now and smuggling you to a hotel for a week, Lexi. In the daydreams from that side of my mind, we get to snuggle up on the bed and read bedtime stories and I read this to you in English. I dream that even though you don't know the English words I'll be saying, you understand the feeling I'm trying to convey. In that dream, when we leave and the nannies at the orphanage have the same book and they read it to you in French, I dream that you'll possibly remember a bit about those bedtime stories and how safe you felt with Mommy and Daddy. Maybe you won't feel so far away from home. Maybe I won't feel so far away from you.


If, upon arrival in Haiti, reality drags my optimist-self out into an alley and pummels her senseless then at least the nannies will still have the French book. And knowing that I did SOMETHING to try to make things better until you can come home will help me feel not so far away from you.


18 days.