Mommy's Favorite Girl

Lexi has been very sick. She weighed 34 lbs a month ago and now she's down to 22 lbs. She has had a pretty serious parasite. They had her in the hospital for 5 days on IV antibiotics and fluids before we got there. They actually brought her home from the hospital just when we arrived at the orphanage to pick up our kids. They told us that she passed a rather large roundworm in the hospital (about 7-10 inches). A worm that size takes a lot of food from a child. We had her on an additional dewormer and antibiotic while she was with us.

The poor kid was just miserably sick. She just wanted to be held those first few days. She didn't even respond to her birth name (Kimberly), although I'm not sure if it's because it doesn't get used much in the orphanage or that she was just so sick that she didn't care whether we were speaking to her or not.

We brought all sorts of toys and she wasn't interested in anything. Momma and Lexi just hung out and held each other. I rubbed her back a lot and just tried to help her to be as comfortable as possible.

She was so ill that those first 2 days she didn't even want you to LOOK at her, let alone touch her (like to attempt a tickle or kiss her cheek). She just laid listless in my arms and I rubbed her back.

By the 3rd day, she would actually nod when we'd ask her with Creole words if she was going to be sick or if she was hungry, so she was starting to come around.

She had several nights with diarrhea all night long. Neither mommy nor Lexi slept very well that week.

At about 5 AM on the fourth morning, I realized that I would only get one more "sleep" with them before I had to give them back to the orphanage. I wanted so much for Lexi to have some memory with us that didn't involve her being so ill. Some happy thought. As all of these thoughts started to rush through my head I pulled my sleeping Lexi over onto my chest. I just wanted to hug and touch her.

For the next 2 hours I rubbed her back and touched her hair (which has kind of a spicy scent when she's sick) and smoothed over her face, trying to take it all in. I found myself singing a song to her, a little lullaby that just came to me. It goes to the tune of the Primary song, "Reverently, Quietly". I wouldn't say the lyrics are great, but they seemed to fit, particularly as we'd spent the better part of 4 days with Lexi laying on Mommy's stomach.

Renmen ou (pronounced Rayn-mayn oo) means "Love you" in Creole.

Renmen ou, Renmen ou,

Lexi is my sweetest girl.

Renmen ou, Renmen ou,

Lexi is my favorite girl.

Renmen ou, Renmen ou,

This is how we lay.

Help my Lexi feel well

In my arms today.

I sang that softly over and over and over while stroking her back and hair. I rocked her and sang for about an hour. I felt it was a pretty good Mommy soothing moment. Lexi seemed to be in and out of awareness, but she was very relaxed and seemed to be soothed by the gentle touches.

Later that day, I had her in my arms, in our now standard position. And I was talking to her while rubbing her back as had become my custom. This time, however, when I said, "Lexi, Mommy loves you." she looked up at me and met my eyes. I was intrigued, but wasn't sure that she'd actually understood what I said. I tested it a few more times over the next few minutes, and sure enough, when I would say, "Lexi", she would look me in the eye. I was so excited! I swooped her up in my arms and said, "Lexi, does Mommy love you?" and she looked at me and nodded her head. I gave her a big squeeze and then I kissed her cheek and she surprised me by actually leaning into my kiss instead of pulling away and screaming. She knew what we were talking about and it was OK for Mommy to kiss her now because she understood that Mommy loved her.

This may not make sense if you haven't been through something like this, but I started to sob when I realized that my little girl knew that I loved her and that the silly little lullaby had helped her to recognize her name. You've got to realize that I'd asked her all sorts of questions in English and it was always obvious that she had no idea what I was talking about. She'd only answer 2 questions in Creole (Sick and Hungry) and then only with a nod.

For the rest of that day, we built on that.

Lexi now knows that Papa loves her, too. And he's also allowed to kiss her now. and she'd even let him hold and snuggle her. Once that was understood, she started to smile and actually let us tickle her a bit (she was still pretty weak).

Renmen ou, Alexis Sophia.

Come Home Soon!