Letter To Our Son

Malot,
I'm sitting on the plane from Miami to Denver and trying to doze where I can. I'm not sure what I'm dreaming about exactly, but I know that I hear your little voice say, "Wi, Momma!" over and over again.

I'm sure this morning was as hard for you as it was for us. I wonder how the rest of your day turned out for you. I hate that we don't speak Creole and can't explain to you what is going on. It wouldn't have made leaving much easier, but it would have been nice to be able to tell you myself that we will come back for you. Given what I saw this week, I can only imagine the fit you threw when you figured out that the machin Momma and Poppa were in didn't go to the same place your machin went. Momma did a lot of crying as well, if it makes you feel any better.

Poppa and I are so glad that we were able to come to Haiti and meet you this week. I wonder what you'll remember of this trip by the time we are finally able to bring you home. Will this all seem like a dream to you in a month? I hope it was a good dream. All the food you wanted. All the hugs and kisses you could stand. A momma and poppa to love you and hang on your every word and facial expression. And did I mention the food? I would not have guessed that a such a tiny little boy could eat so much or so often. I think you gained a few pounds this week and I'm so pleased.

I wish that this process didn't take so long. It's horribly hard on all of us to wait on governments to process paperwork so that your adoption will be able to be final. I met a man on the plane to Miami who had come to America from Trinidad. He said he was amazed that "there seems to be a paper for everything in America" or something like that.

I thought you did very well this week, Bebe. You met two strange adults and were able to deal with the changes we brought into your life and your routine as we took you out of the orphanage and took you to our hotel to stay for a week. It must seem like a dream to you. It's so sad to me to see what happens in your orphanage all day long. You must get so bored. I'm so grateful that Momma Nadia has given you a home and that she feeds you but there's so much more that you need. There's so little to do when you live in an orphanage, particularly a new orphanage like yours. Momma Nadia is trying to get things established as quickly as possible but some miracles take time. She has so much she wants to be able to do for you and for Haiti. Someday there will be a bigger facility with room to play and things to do and learn. Nichole and Harry are going to see if they can help us hire a teacher to come to the orphanage and give you school classes. Wouldn't that be fun if you could start to learn about numbers and colors and letters? If we're forced to spend time apart, it would be nice to have at least a portion of that time used productively for you.

Momma needs to figure out a way to get Creole to stick in her head. There were so much frustration for you this week because Momma doesn't know how to help you understand sometimes.

In some ways it was a long week. You and your sister, Jessica, seemed intent on making sure that Poppa and Momma didn't sleep at all the last few nights. :) That's OK. Mommas need to be with their sons, even if it's 2 in the morning.

Momma read Tant Chris's blog today while she was waiting for the plane in Miami. She said that she and your kouzens are trying to learn some basic Creole phrases so that they'll be able to tell you how excited they are to meet you. It's not just Momma and Poppa that want you home.

We'll be thinking about you every day, Bebe. Momma et Poppa renmen ou anpil, Malot. Ou tre presie.

Momma