New Kids on the Block??

I'm hearing snippets that Harry is preparing a referral for us. I gather that there's another sibling group that's been at the orphanage for just a couple of weeks and that he's trying to make sure everything is done and clear before he sends us the referral.

On the one side, I'm grateful that Harry's looking out for us and that, even though what Bernadette did is very rare, he's still trying to make sure we don't have to go through that again.

From another angle, getting accepting another referral would be giving up on Lexi and Nathan. But how long do we wait for something that may never happen? Again, Bernadette is the one with the control here. There's nothing we can do to sway or influence this at all.

There's some level of all of this that makes me feel like..... it's like you lost your favorite salt and pepper shakers, so you contact the store where you bought them and they agree to just look around in the back and see if they can find a comparable set.

My feelings may entirely change when we get the referral. Or maybe Bernadette will change her mind before that happens.

I had a church activity tonight with a bunch of the women that I hadn't talked to in awhile. And unfortunately I had to explain a few times that we've lost our children. "AGAIN?" was the common stunned response. They watched us go through having Asnica's adoption fall through a few years ago. With Lexi and Nathan...I know in many ways the ward felt like they were their children, too- they gathered hundreds of pounds of donations that we took with us in January. Lots of tears. I thought was to the point where I could talk about it in public, but I guess not.

Again, thank you to the friends and family who are supporting us in this time. I've had some very sweet conversations with dear friends that just wanted us to know that we're in their prayers. And that means so much.

I was told a long time ago (and I believe it), "Some days, your family will be praying for you and as a result, you will succeed." I'm quite positive we've been carried by prayers through the darkest of the days we've had. Thank you for sharing your faith and love.