Gracie Cristella

We received the heartbreaking news that our friends' little girl, Gracie, passed away on Friday. This is the 2nd little girl our friends have lost in the last year. It seems like our families have gone through more than their fair share of heartache with this adoption process. It's a long, arduous ordeal no matter who you are, but to repeatedly have your children taken away like this is nearly unbearable.

Gracie, like her sister, Ellie, was a sweet, tender little girl. As you can see from the picture she had the greatest dimples. Her little life has had more struggle and heartache than most of us will ever see in a full lifetime. While I'm happy for her that she will no longer struggle and that she's endured all that God needed her to, my soul and my heart ache for my dear friends who are feeling the void she's left behind.

It seems that part of this Haitian adoption process is to develop a single-minded "obsession" with Haiti. It consumes you and you're constantly thinking about your children and the orphanage and the country and what you can do to ease or lift or better or change some part of the whole big mess. You're praying constantly for various government officials to WANT to do their job so that necessary paperwork can be processed and procedures can be followed. I understand the need for caution and care, but I also KNOW how much we need to get these children home. I know Scott and Michelle have gone through this in the past year. Michelle's been working on creating a newsletter that we can send out to help companies know about our orphanage and its needs so that we can get necessary funding. She's been working on things for the school teacher. She's been trying, with all that she is, to pray these girls home.

It's not wrong to want to parent these children. We need them as much as they need us. It doesn't make it any easier when your righteous desires feel like they've been trampled on and yet another child has died way before what I think they should have. But that's the point, I guess. This isn't my plan, and it isn't my thoughts that make this all work. "My thoughts are not His thoughts and my ways are not His ways..." I know, as I know the sun shines, that the Lord never cheats anyone. Not Ellie, not Gracie, not Lexi, not Malot, not Michelle, not Scott and not Brent or Lori. Somehow we have to bear each other up and try to lift each others burdens and some how bring light to this whole situation.

So we keep obsessing about Haiti. And we pray and we cry and we miss our children. And we ache. We plead. And we risk losing them and when we do lose them we remember that families are forever and the Lord never cheats anyone. Ever. Not aching mothers in the USA. Not even orphans in Haiti. Especially not orphans in Haiti.

Our thoughts and our prayers and our love are with Scott and Michelle at this time, as well as with Harry and Nadia and all our staff. We've all lost a family member. But we'll get through this together.

Thank you for letting us love you, Gracie. We love you.

Memorial for Ellie

Our friends held a memorial for their dear baby girl who passed away in Haiti before the governmental process would allow them to carry her home and make her well. I thought thier post, and the poem written by one of their daughters was very touching. I've copied that post here:

We had a memorial today in honor of Ellie. We all wrote her a letter and
planted a fushia tree by our front door in her memory. We sprinkled the dirt with goldfish and we will be making a marker and burying a copy of the letters and the goldfish package soon. Kelsie gave me permission to post her poem that she wrote to Ellie:

Brown
Brown, Brown, Brown, Brown
It is not a color
it is a beautiful little girl
It is the color of the precious baby
the sight of her is so shocking
as she is so adorable
her smile is not
one you can forget
because her teeth are oh so white
It is her big brown eyes
that stun you the most
the twinkle that you see
when she is so happy
It is her tiny hands that
grabs the goldfish crackers
off the silver mirror that portrays her golden face
It is the love that you see
when you look at her
at first it was confusion,
now it is love
every color, blue, pink, and green
looks good on her,
her hug is so warming
she sleeps so softly now,
she is happier then ever,
now that she is taken from this world
because she was too perfect.

by Kelsie

Rage

I miss Ellie.

I have to admit that I've had daydreams about Malot and Ellie falling in love some day in the future. They're such beautiful children and I could only imagine what their own children would look like.

I fancied that we'd be able to keep in touch with Ellie's family after we brought both kids home and that, through the years, love would blossom.

Ellie won't be coming home.

Why does this little girl have to be a statistic?

Haiti has the highest child mortality rate in this hemisphere. 1/3 of Haiti's children are severely malnourished.

And it is the politics that prevent these children from escaping the hell that kills them and coming to homes were they can get food, preventative health care, love, families, kisses, playtoys, clean water.

Ironically, for all the good it does to ensure that the world's children get the basics they need, UNICEF is the largest cause of the political delays we experience in international adoption. While they go on the record as supporting international adoption, the first thing they do when they move into a country is "encourage" the local government to keep their children in their country as a means of preparing for a better future. If you aren't familiar with UNICEF, that's the "humanitarian" end of the United Nations. The UN's peacekeepers have occupied Haiti for several years now. You know the old saying, "beggars can't be choosers". If you can't provide for your own it is very easy to be swayed by whomever will try to lead or help you.

One quick place to get information on what's going on in Haiti and a bit of the background on some of the issues that are experienced by international adoptions (particularly in Haiti in the more recent posts) is http://achildsvoiceinternational.blogspot.com/ . The slideshow in the link on her Sunday, May 4 post is particularly chilling. It was compiled by a charity called The Mercy and Sharing Foundation that is trying to help Haiti's children.

We Love You, Ellie!

We just received word that our little Ellie Gordon passed away this morning after getting very ill. Ellie's adoptive parents went to Haiti with us in January and they met Ellie for the first time when we met Lexi and Nathan for the first time.



Ellie had a beautiful smile and the most hauntingly expressive eyes. It was such a blessing to be able to watch her open up with her new adoptive parents in the short week that we spent with them in Haiti.


My heart is breaking for Scott and Michelle.


Our thoughts and prayers are with you.


We love you, Ellie!