Yesterday I was driving home from work and thinking about what had happened in Haiti a short year ago. I was remembering the images that came over the news and the fear that came as we realized how thorough and complete the devastation was.
I was thinking about all the prayers and hoping and pleading and miracles that occurred to get your brother and the other children home. I was thinking about the ache when we realized that you wouldn't be coming home.
A car pulled in front of me just then. In the back window was a bumper sticker across the back window that said "Pray4Jessica".
And my heart broke all over again.
"I do," I thought. I pray for you every day.
I'm not alone.
After I posted about you a few weeks ago, I had a lot of people send me very special messages that reminded me again what a powerful, beautiful, wonderful soul you are. You have touched and changed lives and you continue to do so.
I thought I'd share some of them with you. I know you'll never see this. But it makes me feel better to pretend that you do.
"I thought maybe it was time to share with you that N prays for Jessica every single night. Even if I forget in the turmoil of getting the girls to go to bed, she does not, and she always asks me to pray for her. Since the news showed the cholera epidemic, she has added a special rider concerning that to her prayer. She does NOT want Jessica to have cholera. It both fills me with joy and breaks my heart at the same time that she has such faith and remembers Jess so fondly."
" I feel extreme 'survivor guilt' in reference to Jessica. It's like a part of me feels guilty for being happy because so much of me is sad that she's not with you and if I let the sunshine fill my whole body then I will in some way be betraying her....I can tell you in all honesty that I, personally, pray for Jessica each day. I pray for the Lord's will to be done. I pray that He will heal that empty part of your heart. And as we get ready to mark the anniversary of the earthquake I pray that He will relieve the suffering of his people by strengthening our hands and our backs -- by touching the hearts of those that have the means & minds to truly make things happen. I know He can. I know it."
"Nathan and Jessica have put a face to Haiti and helped me realize life’s struggles and many blessings... I pray that this is the year that real change happens! Not just in Haiti, but for all struggling countries, states, cities, families, and people. I pray that life’s blessing outshine its struggles. I pray that the joy Nathan feels every morning when he wakes up next to his Mama, is joy that hundreds more Haitian babies will feel this year."
"Jessica is missed by all who met her"
"Jess weighs heavy on my heart, the people of Haiti weigh heavy on my heart and we do not do enough. We pray for little Jess and Haiti daily, we pray that Harry will have the strength to face everyday with courage."
Aunt TiTi says that Collin prays for you every night as well.
I find myself wondering what the future will hold for both of us, Miss Jess.
I think of you so often and I'm so glad I had you in my life. I will always wonder why we lost you and Malot and Lexi. Why only Nathan was allowed to come home.
I love you, Miss Jess. I always will.