We're BAA-AACK!

The kids are beautiful, as always. Jess is just a dynamic, happy little girl.



She's definitely not a baby any more. We have some fun video that I'll have to post in the coming days. She definitely latched onto her Papa and was always looking for "Papa mwen" ("my Papa") by the end of the trip.




Nathan was sick. We were able to get him on an antibiotic, and he felt better toward the end of the visit, but he spent most of the trip crying or sleeping. He's a very sweet little man, and very cuddly. He's Mama's boy and just wanted to be held and for the most part we were happy to oblige him.

We have a crazy week in front of us. We found out while we were in Haiti that our current home has definitely sold and it's closing on the 3rd. The bank still hasn't made a decision on the short-sale home we're trying to buy but we've made arrangements to move into it and rent it while the bank decides what they're going to do with the property. We basically have a week to pack everything up while still dealing with catching up at our respective jobs and church callings.

Brent's sick. Not sure what he's got. It started towards the end of our trip and he felt like it was just his seasonal allergies reacting to something in the tropics. Today, however, he can't even speak because his throat is so sore and he's coughing. Should make for a crazy week all the way around.

Ramblings

I can't sleep... We've entered the stage of my pre-trip jitters where it's like Christmas Eve and the anticipation is gonna kill me. (Yeah, all that mumbo jumbo about "not a creature was stirring"? Absolute lies, I tell you!!) Although at this point, I'm can see how if one gets enough sleep deprivation, you actually could see a large elf in a sleigh pulled by 8 tiny reindeer and pull of a plausible rhyme about it.

B was sick. He's better now. So much for his "Diddle tids don't get tick" concept.

We may have some "final countdown" action going on with our house. The one in which we currently live, that is. The one that we made an offer on over 90 days ago? Yeah, Bank of America is still being rude to our realtor and saying that they "have the right" to review the offer. Oh, wait... I thought that was the intention with the last 90 days.... That's OK. I'm going to see my babies in Haiti in another 7 days and everything else can just wait.

I need to remember to pick up more "mamba" (Kreyol for "peanut butter"). I don't think our kids can ever get enough peanut butter. They can use more meat on their bones.

This is what happens when you crack open one of those "easy to pack but Lori thinks it's kind of a ridiculous price for the amount of peanut butter you get unless you're taking it to your babies in Haiti" sized packages in front of our kids:

You open the package and they can smell it, I swear. They drop what they're doing and come running.

I wish you could hear them. It's like a nest of hungry baby birds clamoring for the worm.

Here's my nephew, Collin, thinking that mamba is "lip-licking good".

More, please!

To our dear friend, N, who is having surgery today: our thoughts and prayers are with you and we hope the doctors can find the trouble and get you better!

Is it wrong that I'm excited that my local grocery store is closing because it means that I was able to get a metric boatload (I'm probably rounding up) of children's cough and cold medicine for half price?

Don't worry, Jess... I didn't get any Benadryl.

Next Item Up For Bid...

One of the odd challenges of the Haitian Adoption Process is trying to find clothes for your child. When we take these parent trips to Haiti, we bring everything we'll need to clothe and care for our kids while we're there for those few days in the hotel.

If all goes well, this will be the first time (out of four trips to Haiti) that we will have had the same set of children for two trips in a row. It's hard to plan with all the turbulence we've had this year.

So we're trying to get things gathered for the next trip. 22 days til we go.

We have clothing for Jessica. We got a little exuberant last trip I guess and we have enough clothing to take care of her. Nathan, on the other hand.... we didn't know we had him back until the last trip was nearly over.

Have you ever tried to find toddler sandals while living in Utah's 20 degree weather?

Thank heaven for eBay. I've found some items there and I even won a few. We'll see if we can get stocked for him before the week's out.

I Am Lethal Nervous

This post is brought to you by Tums, Advil PM and the number 2.

Christmas Eve is National Insomnia Day for me. If I have selected gifts that I know people are going to love, I can't sleep in anticipation of their reaction. I love to watch people's faces when they see what's in the box. I start thinking about it a couple of days before hand and by the time Christmas Eve arrives I can hardly wait.

These last couple of weeks have been like one really long Christmas Eve for me. I can't sleep. The anticipation is killing me. I can scarcely wait to walk into the O and see Malot. I don't know if they tell them that we're coming (can you imagine what THAT anticipation is like for them??).

Last time we walked into the O and all the kids were sitting around in the converted carport. They were singing and just hanging out. Momma spotted Malot right away. I picked out those eyes and knew that was my little boy.

This time, he'll recognize us. Will he be happy? Will he be mad that we left him? Will he be worried next week, wondering when we'll leave him again? Will he be shy? Will he come right to us? What about Jessica? She's so little and it's been 4 months. Since we saw her last, she's moved into the orphanage with all those kids. She's got a much bigger social circle this time than she had last time. Will she remember us? Will she be sad to come with us again? Will she remember her Daddy? (they were best buds last time)

A kind woman from Brent's work brought over a few bags of new summer children's clothes. Thank you, Tricia! So many beautiful things!

Someone very near and dear to us gave us money for our orphanage. We're so grateful for the support for our kids.

3 days, 10 hours and some change....

Bring on the Advil PM.

Addictions

We seem to be addicted to going to Haiti. It's an expensive habit.

We got a lot of shopping done this weekend. Finally have all the clothes we need for both kids for the week. It's always a challenge to try to find toys that are small enough to fit in a suitcase but still might interest them for a few days.

This trip we're trying to fit everything into as little space as possible so that we'll have as much room as we can get for the food we're taking down to the orphanage. I've heard that they've shipped the pallet to UT so now we wait for it to arrive and get it distributed to the families to pack in their luggage.

28 days...

Pics from Day 1

This is the picture I took of Malot and I right when we met him. When I showed him this image on the screen of our digital camera, he snatched the camera out of my hands and STARED at the picture. His face got all scrunchy as he studied it. Then he leaned down and kissed the screen.


Momma melted into a pile of goo at that moment and I knew that somehow, this would work out.


This grainy photo shows Malot with the can of formula he picked up and carried around so he could "save it for his friend, Jessica". I took a picture because I thought it was sweet and kinda sad that he was so excited about a can of formula. Yes, he knew what it was, and yes, I had someone translate what he was saying from Creole so we're positive that's what he was doing.

In The End, You Get What You Desire

Monday

This is the family in the back of the tap-tap on the way back to the hotel.

Malot definitely is an orphanage kid. We gave him a Starburst and he carefully unwrapped it, popped it in his mouth, gave it two good sucks and then carefully put it back in the wrapper to save it for later. (We did convince him there were more and he really could eat it.)

He has a great laugh and a fabulous smile. He's very curious and he's a talker, but we don't know what he's saying.

He slept with me last night and he does a mean horizontal tango. That kid was all over the place! And always scratching (and Momma forgot the cortisone!)

Early this morning, I took him to the toilet and we were snuggling when we came back to bed. He started saying something over and over. Near as I can translate, it was "I go with you." We want you to come with us too, son.

He can't get enough to eat. He ate all the beans and rice in my order and there would be no sharing with me. He ate a piece of chicken and he sucked every little bit off the bones of my pieces when I was done. He has this two-hand method of eating with his fingers of his left hand and a spoon in his right. He creates this frantic cadence of shoveling and gets the food to his mouth as quickly as possible. He doesn't like to eat the red beans that split open while cooking. He carefully picked those out and set them on my plate. He even wiped the plate with his fingers when he was done. BEFORE that, he had a granola bar, a package of peanut butter crackers, and all the applesauce that Michelle's two kids didn't finish off from each of their servings and some bread with butter. And that was just at the dinner table. If there is food, he needs to be eating it. And from how skinny he is, it's probably about time he had everything he wanted to eat.



With his belly full, he promptly fell asleep in Brent's arms. He is OUT when he's a sleep. This is a picture of his "limp rag" impression in Brent's lap. We changed him into his PJs, washed his face and put him in bed and he didn't stir.

Off to today's adventures....

Why Pack Clean Clothes When You Can Pack Febreeze?

In all my travels for work, I’ve never had an issue with my luggage being where they said it would be. Brent has.

My luggage made it to Miami. Brent’s did not. They tell us it will be waiting for us in Port-au-Prince.

That meant that we had 50 lbs of baby formula and all of Malot’s things when we got to Miami. Our clothes, on the other hand, were a different matter.

Fortunately, B rent had us pack our basic toiletries and a change of underclothes in our backpacks. We could brush our teeth and at least take a shower.

Also fortunately, in Malot’s bag, I have a can of Febreeze – that fabulous air freshener that takes smells out of cloth. We learned from our last trip that you never know when you’re going to end up with a very ill child in Haiti and it makes your stay more pleasant if you pack an air freshener. Unfortunately, this can is not the fabric saving of Febreeze. It’s the room air freshener kind. I figured it still couldn’t hurt to spray it on this ripe T-shirt. It’s got the same first name – it should be close, right?

In case you were wondering, this kind of Febreeze does not remove odors from cloth.

That means that this morning, my olfactory receptors are being serenaded by a masterful blend of Airport, Sweat, and Fatigue, accented with delicate citrusy high notes. I can’t believe no one’s tried to bottle this combination.

In other words, I reek.

That luggage better be waiting in Port-au-Prince. And it had better have bells on.

If not, at least we’ve got Febreeze.

No words

I have no words....
We'll be in Haiti in 12 days to meet the little boy that we hope will be our son.

I have no words in Creole to help him understand. We'll be going to his orphanage to pick him up, and then we take him make to our hotel with us for the next 5 days. The streets aren't safe, we stay in the compound of the hotel behind the walls topped with razor wire and behind the armed guards at the entrance.

There is a pool. and we've guessed on toys and clothes sizes. And hopefully he is well and we can go for walks around the compound.

I have no words to describe what I'm hoping to see as my big teddy bear of a husband gets this little boy out of any shyness he may have. I imagine it's mostly female workers at the orphanage, so a big, tall, strong, bald, white daddy that's all for Malot should be quite exciting for him.

And today a friend said she would take BobbyJones for the week we're gone, and now we just need a place for Divot to stay.

Checking and reprioritizing the donations, and constant rearranging to make sure we don't exceed weight limits.

The adventure begins again.

T minus 25 days and counting....to Haiti.

Scott and Michelle, bless them and their family, are still going to go. Though they've lost their beautiful daughter, they feel strongly that there is another child in Haiti that needs them and they're going to move forward. Our thoughts are still with them and sweet Ellie has been in my thoughts so much.

For purely selfish reasons, I'm grateful for that because without them the trip would be canceled. It's just us and them going this trip and there have to be two families to be able to make the trip cost effective.

I am trying to imagine an active 3 year old (we think that's how old Malot is - still don't have the details) who doesn't speak English, doesn't know us from Adam and wondering how this will play out. It was different with Lexi and Nathan - Nathan's an infant and as long as you love him, he doesn't care who you are and didn't have a "stranger" concept yet. Lexi was too sick to care.

So, any suggestions on the answer to this riddle? "What's small enough to fit in a suitcase, easily entertains a 3 year old, and doesn't make noise?" (I'm anti-toy noise.)

I'm worried about our O (that's "adopting mom-speak for 'orphanage'") as it seems there have been a lot of sick kids. We can't get information. Perpetual limbo.

I'm worried about when we'll be able to get Malot home. When will our family start? When will we finally get the paperwork we need? Nothing has happened AT ALL since we lost Lexi and Nathan. We haven't moved forward with any of Malot's paperwork. Time lost that can never be recovered, but that's the nature of the Haitian adoption beast. We can't MAKE these children ours.

My friend, Melissa, is going to Haiti next week to visit her children. She's been waiting over 2 years to get them home. And is still waiting. Governments, and paperwork, and UNICEF - oh my!

This too shall pass....

Right?

"...Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig..."

Back in my own bed and resting. The incision is about 5-6" long so my belly's pretty tender. I walk with the beautiful posture of the letter "C" ... or stork with intestinal problems... or something like that.

Brent's taking good care of me. Thank you for all the good wishes and kind thoughts.

We've also been notified that we won't be going to Haiti in April. They're trying to reschedule a trip before September. It's hard to miss this time with them, particularly while Nathan is at such a fun stage, but laws are what they are and we have to comply. As Brent said, "A Haitian hotel was bad enough... I don't need to see a Haitian Jail!"

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face…

Rachael asked me awhile ago to describe what it was like to see our kids for the first time.

It was like discovering oxygen. Breathing for the first time. Realizing you're finally home after a very long trip.

There were tears. Nathan cried because he was tired. And probably because he was surrounded by strange white people.

Brent and I cried to have a long dream finally realized. There's something about meeting the other half of your heart that causes words to fail.

They didn't bring Lexi back to the orphanage from the hospital until RIGHT when we were getting ready to leave to head back to the hotel. We didn't get any "moment we met each other" pictures with her. This is our first shot as a family, taken from the terribly cramped back of the modified VW van we used for transportation that week.

Resting in Peace… and Comfort

Allow me to sing praises to the glorious invention that is the Boeing 777 business class seat. It's a recliner that adjusts 10 different ways or lays flat for sleeping. It comes with a real live pillow – not one of those used cotton balls in a woven cover that you usually get on a plane. It also has a duvet for each person. The leg space would make an NBA player happy, so my 36" inseam was in a bliss never before known while hurdling through space in a pressure controlled metal tube.

The lavatory is such that I was not forced to inhale sharply in order to have enough room to change my mind.

I was able to adjust my seat with such a finely tuned, 10-directional precision that my scoliosis heaved a sob of relief. The flight to DFW was like sitting on a metal plate. The flight from DFW to Miami – in the fabulous 777 – was like a dream (a dream within a dream?)

Bless you, Boeing designers. Oh, that I'd had this type of accommodations during my 14-hour flight to Singapore.

The best part? We didn't pay for an upgrade. It just let us change our seats when we checked in.

New Pictures!

Our friend Nichole (from Wasatch) sent us a CD with pictures from the trip! Here's some new pics of my kids.




This is a pretty good representation of Lexi's stink eye look. It's kind of a cross between "You are dead to me", "Talk to the hand" and "If I don't look at them, maybe they'll go away." We saw this a lot, unfortunately, because she just plain didn't feel well.




Mr. Nathan, just hanging out.





The Rosenlofs! This was taken our next-to-last morning at breakfast in the hotel.

Items for Families to Remember for Their Trips to Haiti

Not every parent will have the opportunity to visit their children before they bring them home. Many times, your experience will not be like ours was where your children will stay with you "24/7" at a hotel away from the orphanage during the time you're in Haiti.

These are the items I was glad I brought or wish I'd brought:

• baby medicine droppers
• Big ziploc bags (for dirty clothes)
• Tide laundry detergent (we washed things in the sink multiple times per day because Lexi was so sick)
• spare flat sheets (there were a few nights where we had to change the sheets because Lexi had been sick during the night)
• Febreeze and Ozium (again, there were a lot of not so pleasant smells)
• LOTS of small bills ($1 and $5 USD) for tipping at the restaurant, room service, etc
• Children's TYLENOL (not Motric - apparently many Haitians are allergic to Motrin as we found out the hard way)
• Antifungal cream (like for athelete's foot) to treat ringworm. The OTC stuff isn't as strong as prescription, but it still helped.
• Olive oil (Walgreen's sells a cream that works into hair rather nicely).
• Spray bottle (for water to wet their hair when fixing it in the AM)
• Dishsoap (we had to wash out bottles throughout the week)
• washcloths and towels (we never could get the hotel to give us enough for a family of 4 with sick kids)
• lots of baby blankets (we put Lexi on one every time she slept which made "blowouts" easier to deal with)
• Pedialite and Pediasure
• Sunglasses and hats for everyone
• bug spray
• multiple sizes of diapers (Lexi had lost so much weight that she ended up needing the size we brought for our 5 month old!! If one of the other moms hadn't had extra of that size we would have been in serious trouble)
• Orajel (if the child might be teething)
• flat rubber drain stop (neither our tub nor our sink's drains worked properly so it made it hard to wash things - children included)

Hope this helps someone somewhere!

The Path Will Be Made Clear

We've had a great day at the Rosenlof's. We've had more wonderful things dropped off from good friends and neighbors. Cris and Bri, you spoil us. Miss Brinn, Lexi will LOVE the bunny you picked out for her. Thank you so much, sweetheart!

I spent the bulk of the evening repacking and prioritizing what we have been given. I smell a Gospel principle coming...There's something to be said for taking stock of what you have and recognizing in the process what you've been given. And then being grateful for it.

With some rearranging and not too much repriorizing, we were able to get more items in fewer suitcases. It was literally a blessing (thanks Nate and Rob). The peace you brought to our home and the promise of my stress being lifted was immediately manifest. It's amazing how much space you can save by rearranging how you squish the kid's diapers into the suitcases. I fit all 50 teddy bears that Mom R's ward made for the kids in a smaller suitcase WITH a bunch of other toys. It's like an entire suitcase of joy! (and a couple of sheets, thanks Teri.) :) Things just really came together.

We got our last minute papers notarized. While in Haiti we hope to be able meet with the US Immigration (called USCIS now - they're under the Department of Homeland Security these days). If our paper work is right and if that meeting goes well then we can be granted permission for USCIS to do the search for Lexi and Nathan's birthparents simultaneously to the Haitian ISBER process. (the normal process is that the US Government waits until Haiti has spent their year going through things and THEN they go out and attempt to locate the birth parents in a country where people don't have phones, emails or homes in many cases. They'll spend a lot of time trying to track them down and then bring them into PAP for an interview with USCIS. Our government wants to know that the parents know their children are gone forever when they're adopted. The birth parents can change their mind at that point and we really don't want that to happen.) Anyway, if this is approved for us then we don't have to have an additional US wait at the end of this already long process - we can do "concurrent enrollment", as it were, and have both governments working simultaneously. Novel idea, eh?

My whole world is going to change in 36 hours. Leavin'.... on a jet plane.... Brent admitted that he's nervous that Lexi won't like him. I can't imagine how any child couldn't love having Daddy Brent. I think one snuggle and they'll be stuck on each other. I've seen many a baby snuggle into him and just be content in his arms.

I was reminded tonight that there's a purpose to everything that happens. There are reasons that we've been married for 10 years and haven't been able to have children. There are reasons that we've been working on adoption in one form or another for 6-8 years and nothing's happened yet. I was reminded that God is aware of us and that we're doing the right thing. The big reason nothing's happened yet is that my little Nathan is only 4 months old. We wouldn't have him if anything had worked previously. I can only begin to catch a glimpse of how much our lives are going to change; begin to fathom how much our lives, as a family, are about to start.
Melissa tells me that her Haitian children just kept patting her hair and her face - so many different textures that are unfamiliar. Just a few more hours until I can officially feel like a mom, and a "Mama Blanc" at that.

We're coming, Lexi and Nathan. We're coming.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Haiti!!

The MD released Brent to travel today! He said with antibiotics, sufficient pain meds, etc. he should be able to travel. I wish you could have seen the big grin on his face when the doctor said it was OK. I'm so thrilled! It's made my whole day! We'll have to be careful because he still can't lift too much and he can't stand or walk for very long. But we'll be together as a family.

It's been an amazing day for another reason. If you haven't read the blog post from November 27th called "KohlBabySweetStars" you'll want to read that before you finish this. I received the following email today from Kohl's mommy, Clarissa:

"I just thought you would like to know that I was having a conversation with Kohl this morning about this little black boy that he says, "lives really far away".
"Him is 4 yrs. old like me", and "him has no hair". He also apparently eats lots of "ice cream".
"Him has a baby sister", and she has no hair, and she is "really little".
"He was a great boy." said Kohl.
Well, I had your blog pulled up because I was reading it, and I pulled Kohl up on my lap to show him the picture of Lexi and Nathan. He said with real, sincere excitement, "Hey, that's the girl I saw with no hair!" (meaning Nathan)
I thought that was really cool. And Kohl has been known for getting boys and girls confused based on their hair. (for example, the little boy from Jungle Book......Kohl thinks he is a girl because he has long hair)
I honestly think Kohl knew Lexi from Heaven. I thought you would enjoy that.
Cliss"

I do believe that children are closer to God than the rest of us (thus "out of the mouths of babes"). I also believe these are OUR kids. We just knew when we saw their pictures. They were the first referral we received and we really didn't ned to go any further. We've moved pretty confidently forward since we found them, with the feeling that this was right and it would all work out in the end.

Thank you again, KohlBabySweetStars, for reminding me to LISTEN and for being sure about what you know. I'm so excited for you, BabyPrincessPaige and Lexi and Nathan to play together.

Let's hope that it's not in 2 years ('cause that's when she'll be "4 years old like you")!






(Kohl in 2005 wearing some PJs I brought back for him from Singapore. He's such a cute little bug!)